tanmatram

Eager for the next fight

2007-08-13T13:26:00.000-07:00

There is a malayalam song from an album which goes somewhat like this:

“Aadhymaayi kanda naal ormayundo?
Aar adhyam kandathu ormayundo? ……."
(Do you remember the day when we first met? Do you remember, who saw first…)

Thinking on those lines, I tried to recollect when we had our first fight. It was too often that I could not remember the first time or who started the fight or why we had a fight or how we reconciled. Having a fight was not fun …. but reconciliation was definitely fun.

After a fight, we would not talk to each other for sometime. Then after a good 10 minutes or so, I would start singing some songs like – ‘Root na jana tumse kahun tho…’ and after singing the same line around 10 times, she would relax her shoulder and facial muscles and slowly stop staring outside the window and a glare at me would mean things are good… and life would proceed. As our marriage aged, she understood my tricks and would not easily budge on songs…. at least not if I just repeated the same line or if I repeated the same song… and I had to recollect other songs…. ‘bade aache lagthe hein….’ usually worked if nothing else worked.

As time went, our fights took different turns and became more complicated and the songs did not help at all. Not even ‘bade aache lagthe hein’, most of them resolved only because of ‘time’ or when some god-sent phone call or a when god-sent visitor comes. I still remember one of the fights… it was three years back….. though I do not recollect the reason of the fight, I recollect the reconciliation process. Trying to appease her, I first sang one of her favorite songs and the way she looked at me uff... if the song was a piece of paper, she would crushed it and put to trash. Then, I slowly went close by her…. expecting a fist to come close to my face…. I kept my nose guarded. No reaction! Took the next step…. lied down next to her…. Still no reaction…. Acted as if going to sleep…. And slowly put my hand near her palm…. No reaction yet…. Slowly touched her palm at the same time acting it was an accident…yes… there was a slight reaction, she pulled her hand away and turned with her back facing me now…… sang one more song …. She quipped… ‘I am trying to sleep… do not talk and disturb me’. Her hand, was no where visible, so I moved my leg and slowly touched her leg…. the lioness in her woke up…. and warned me of dire consequences if I tried to touch her again….. “o o! accident… sorry… I did not do it intentionally…” I meowed like a cat. I scooted closer to her after around 5 minutes…she warned me again …. and I said, “this is also my bed… and I have not touched you yet. Tell me if I touch you”. Then I put my hand across her still not touching her…. and told her, if you move and my hand touches you, it is not my mistake… after sometime I slowly kept my arms over her hips…. She did not complain….then slowly scooted closer to her… she turned and pushed me back…and I said…

’What? I can’t even touch you or what?’
She said –‘No! You can’t until you behave.’

Let me see what you will do if I touch you and held her hands down and hugged her… she tried to free herself up.... for sometime … and then resorted to biting…. I held her face with my face forcibly, then she started to tickle me… and I too started to tickle her and we both started to laugh… and laughs turned to smiles and smiles to …… and in a few minutes we could start feeling the wind blow to our legs first, then to our arms and then to our backs….. and ... the result of our reconciliation was felt after around 2-3 weeks when she started to vomit…..and 9 months later… we had a handsome and cheerful baby boy.

Our child, has been keeping us busy and it is he who helps resolve most of our fights, either he would cry for a diaper change or for milk, or he would flip over and cause joy, or he would have taken his first step or he would have broken our favorite vase or he would have spilled the glass of milk or he would quit eating etc etc…. Its long time since we got an opportunity to have a fight and reconcile. The only songs I sing now are the lullabies…. And I guess, it is time for the next fight now…. need to pick up a fight with her so that we can have one more reconciliation…..and time to learn new songs... nah... may skip the songs this time ;-)

Few New York Photos

2007-08-13T13:18:00.000-07:00

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Ohmkaram Skit 2007 for Vishu

2007-04-22T14:20:00.001-07:00

This Skit's story, lyrics for the parody and dialouges were written by me. Hope it was ok.

Cheese abhisegham .... swamikyu

2006-11-05T06:09:00.000-08:00

Sabarimala season is about to start and our temple here is having Ayyappa puja every other Saturday. Our Hindu Temple like all other Hindu temple in US is unique. (What? 'Unique' and 'same like others'?) What I meant when I said 'like other Hindu temples' was that the main god worshipped is 'Lord Balaji'. What I meant when I said 'unique' was nothing - I was wrong - there is nothing unique in this temple. It does exactly what all other temples here do. Same pujas, same festivals, same everything. (I know if it is a Hindu temple, everything has to be same).

Anyway, I liked going to the temples in Kerala, always felt divine and holy after coming out... though I used to look at girls while praying, that did not take the feeling of godliness. In fact, the girls too looked divine. Most of the girls wore a red pavadai (long skirt) and green top with golden shiny border. They would have a little sandal wood paste in the forehead and below it or over it red bindi - kunkumam. Eyes beautiful with the kajal (kan mashi), small golden ear rings, thick golden necklace on their chest, silver colored padaswaram (anklets)... black oily hair separated from the center... little mulla-poo (jasmine flower) ....their back (above the hips) wet with the water from the hair...a smile in the face... anyways... I miss that in the temples here.

In spite of missing all that here, I still go to the temple, at least every Saturday.... at 11:30 sharp..... Why? No! I don’t have 'shani dasha' (or Saturn problem). Its just that I like the food, the prasadam, that is served on those days. Though my wife is an excellent cook, there is nothing like food cooked by somebody else.... lot of ghee and cashews and grapes and etc... All the things that my wife thinks have cholesterol. I usually have the prasadam first before going to the temple... who knows if there would be any left when I return.... (Need to beat the college students/bachelors around...). Darshan of the big idol of Lord Venkateswara brings immense peace in me... it also helps me digest the food that I just had. I keep praying until... the pujari brings the 'dry-fruits tray'. Our temple is small and pujas are conducted every 30 minutes or so. If I time it wrong, I may have to sometimes wait for 30 minutes until the tray comes back. On such occasions, I go visit the smaller gods - Ganesha, Rama, Krishna and Shiva. If I see the pujari start the puja, I skip either Krishna or Shiva and go back to the main deity. I pray with all my heart and devotion for the puja to finish fast so that the pujari brings the tray. It takes more time if somebody has to do an aarthi. If it is a telgu family, it takes even more time.... long names and multi-gothras. My last stop is at the nava-grahas. Going around it makes me a bit giddy....and then I rest for sometime. That is when I think and compare of my kerala days to the US days. Though I miss the girls whom I used to see... this is better.... I have never got such fruits for prasadam in Kerala... wow... Cashews, almonds, raisins, walnuts, pista, sometimes real fruits like apples, bananas and grapes... mmmm... nobody can beat that. (Wish they had pizza and pasta too)

I asked the temple manager why they serve such things as prasadam? He gave me the common answer - 'That's what we get here....' I wonder..... Since they do not get 'ghee' here... will they use cheese instead for the nei (ghee) abhishegam for Ayyappa???

Swamiye saranam ayappa !!!!
Cheese(nei) abhisegham swamikyu,
kalpura deepam swamikyu....

do they get camphor here??? Is it not banned???

Love at first absence

2006-11-05T06:08:00.001-08:00

They say that it takes about 30 seconds to fall in love at first sight. It took less than that to miss her when she stepped away. We were together (married) for over 2 years and not a single day did we stay away from each other since then. We would wake up seeing each other, eat together, go-out together, sleep together and there was no activity or moment we were away (of course, we were away when I went to work). We were no longer couples, we were one, sharing our life and thoughts and I had not realized that her absence would be so hurting.

When she was with me, we would scream and shout almost everyday. Sometimes our conversations turned into quarrels, discussion turned into arguments but at the end of the day we were happy and smiling. Our life was nothing but a smooth sailing boat with occasional currents, well, who does not have it? Then, her brother’s marriage got fixed and she was asked to come home early to help in preparation. Both of us were excited... another marriage at home.... time for another celebration... wow ...and we eagerly started preparing for her travel. Shopping and looking for deals on everything from Airline tickets to Candies.

When it was time for her to leave, we started picking up fights more often; I guess it was our insecurity. She would want me to come home early from work and I would want her to sit with me whole night and do nothing. There were times I felt that she leave earlier than later.....

But when she crossed the security gate.... man ... I was devastated. It was like falling in love knowing sure that there would be no reciprocating feeling; it seemed like a tragedy and the end of the world. The next moment was equally cruel. They say, time heals.... but time was not healing at all, but was making it worse, it was making me miserable. Everything I saw reminded me of her. A couple around corner reminded me of our time we spent together, every word spoken reminded me of her tone, every gesture reminded me of her action, every look reminded me of her eyes. Everything reminded me of her and haunted the loneliness in me like a ghost. Telling myself not to think about her led to more thoughts about her. I could not stop thinking of anything with out associating it with her. She stayed in my mind when I was working, spending time with friends, jogging in the morning or browsing in evening. I was looking around and was trying to find out if any of the things would be useful or interesting for her. Back home, I was afraid to leave the phone for a moment because I was sure that the moment I step away, she would call. Things that never worried me started to worry me. I would rather stay by myself than going out anywhere without her. I felt the world did not exist without her and nobody expected me to go anywhere alone. When we walked together we did not even let go each others hands even for a second and here I was now not even a shadow of hers with me. The Pankaj Udhas song - "naye kapade pehen kar jahun kahan aur baal banavu kis ke liye, woh shaks to shaher hi chod chala, mein bahar jaaun kiskeliye?" kept running in my mind.

My friends almost got bored of me as I had nothing to talk to them about other than her. They started thinking I am bit crazy and started to avoid me. My friend’s wives looked at me with a mix of envy and compassion. If I knew separation could be so miserable, I would never have let her go. If I knew her absence would make me fall in love with her, I would wish I never fall in love again.

Ok folks, I am going to show the above note to my wife, will it make her happy and prompt her take another trip to India. Its 12 months now since she went to India. I want her to feel happy when she goes home; I want her to feel that I will miss her terribly when she is away. Do you think the above one is good enough? I have a blog ready with what I did last time when she was away- the title is 'Loved her first absence'. Will post that soon, but tell me is the above note fine. I have to make plans and invite my friends and have party when she is gone.....!!!! Hurry up!!!

American breakfast - Desi style

2006-11-05T06:08:00.000-08:00

Saturday morning as I was getting ready to go out wearing my slippers, my wife suggested that I should wear the shoes instead of the chappal. She said, 'Have you ever seen a 'gora' go out in sandals?' I said - 'I am not a American.... I am a desi... why should I wear shoes?' For that she said, 'When you are in Amreica, do what the amreicans do.'

My argument:
If somebody served you Jilebi, Mysore-pavu, Laddu and Burfi along with Payasam(Kheer), would you have it for breakfast?
Why not? The Americans eat Doughnuts, Danishes and Bagels with double egg ommellete and Orange juice, then why don't you? When they can have their Cereals with sugar and milk and other sweet fruits added to the breakfast, why can't you eat? Why don't you have the American breakfast - Desi style?

She: No answer!

Verdict - I won.

Result: I still had to wear the shoes.....

Wishing her all the bad things….

2006-11-05T06:07:00.000-08:00

No. Its not regarding my ex-crush or girl friend. How can I wish bad things for them? I am after a normal human being who can not hate anybody. Anyway, my bad wishes are for that lady police officer who gave me a hefty ticket for a driving violation. Here it goes…..

May a deadly and poisonous snake bite her on her left leg while she is sleeping and having a terrible nightmare about a dog biting her nose off. May she fall from the bed due to the snake bite and break her left arm and may she trip and fall on her face when trying to get up and run away from the snake. May she fracture her right leg on that fall. May she then fall on the open and un-flushed toilet with her head first and may her arm accidentally hit the flush lever and may her hair get stuck in the toilet bowl. May all her hair come off when she finally gets her head out. May lightning then strike her on her head and then may her house also catch fire. May a tree fall on her car when she tries to go the hospital. May her husband get a heart-attack listening to the news and get all of his right side paralyzed. May she gets AIDS in the blood transfusion and then cough and vomit blood. May her intestine come out of her nose due to the cough. May the syringe poke her left eye and may the doctor operate her right eye by mistake. May she bite her own tongue off when trying to eat some food. May her eyebrows melt and stick to her lips like a moustache. May she look like a devil who has just seen a cross.

May she live long and ………..

Boy or a girl

2006-11-05T06:04:00.000-08:00

Our conversation ended when my wife said … ‘you should have sisters to know and understand. Hope you son also has a sister and he won’t be like you.’

I have always lost arguments when somebody brings that up. It makes me feel that I have sinned, at the same time I do not understand what is the big thing about having a sister? Are people with no sisters heartless and people with sisters ‘gentlemen’? I had grown up in a family where most of us were boys/men and as such did not understand what it is to have a sister. The little I knew about girls was when my cousin sisters came over during summer vacations. Did not miss having sisters when with them but when they left… I always wanted them to stay back. There were times I hated them when it took hours for them to get ready but there was also moments where I would sit besides them watching the way they would knot/oil their hair or put the nail polish.

Anyways, I had few friends who had sisters… and these guys did not have two horns on their head. But I had noticed that they would not invite any guys to their homes especially if those guys did not have any sisters. Their friendship would end at the corner of the street. Regarding guys who had sisters, I have noticed the following things (exceptions exist):

1) All liked their sisters only after they got married and went away. Until then, they cursed them and hated them.

2) These guys would return home even before sunset.

3) Would not bunk classes and go for movies

4) Would not watch ‘rated’ movies

5) Were mean as not to invite good people (like me) to their homes. (The closest I have gotten to is to the door. Never gone inside)

6) Would not wait in bus-stops or tea-shops after school/college to sit and chatter.

7) Would not give away phone numbers

The list is long…..

Regarding guys who did not have sister:

1) Would never go home until the moon was above their head

2) Would not feel guilty bunking classes for movies

3) Had ‘time-pass’ girl friends

4) Would watch all sort of movies and talk about them too

5) Sit at bus-stops and theater, watching and commenting girls

6) Invite all friends home.

7) Would freely give phone numbers and not mind blank phone calls or such nuisance.

Coming back to the actual topic in mind, my wife is in the 4^th month of pregnancy and it already seems like a very long month. Our first one was a boy and we are yet to know the sex of the new baby and that could be another reason for the 4^th month being so long. I want the second one to be a boy too after all he will have a company and can play similar games, discuss and talk similar topics …but she wants a girl. We have our own reasons; in fact, I have more reasons on why I want a boy, she too has many reasons… and her last reason is – ‘you won’t understand since you don’t have sisters’. Few of her other reasons were, girls are more attached to their parents and will take care of them when old, and girls like their father more, so I should be happy to have a girl etc. I asked if Lord Rama had sisters and see how much he loved his father and mother that he did not think twice to obey their wishes. Even the Pandavas did not have sisters. They too obeyed their mother. That’s how boys are!!!! On the other hand, Ravana had a sister, look what he did. If there is a girl in the house, there will never be peace. For this, she asked me not to tell stories. Then, I took examples from Mahatma Gandhi to Sachin Tendulkar.

Anyways, we won’t know the sex of the baby for sometime to come… until then we will keep arguing amongst us which is better. I would like to have a girl baby as long as she is kind like my mother and beautiful like my wife, else I need a boy.

Ohmkaram 2006 Part of Thiruvathira kalli

2006-09-28T14:49:00.000-07:00


Ohmkaram 2006 Part of Thiruvathira kalli.

Why Disha is better than my wife.....

2006-08-10T11:53:00.000-07:00

I disliked it when my wife gave me driving directions. I could take all her attitude but could not take it when she gave me directions. When we slowed down at an intersection, wondering to take a right or left…. She would, without even being asked would tell – ‘Take right’ and I would take a left, just to prove her wrong and we would end up wasting at-least half-an-hour going around and finally stop at the gas station asking for direction. Yes. She was right, we should have taken the right at that intersection. No! Its not always like that… she gives wrong directions too but that goes un-noticed during arguments.

When we got married, we had hardly any reason to fight or argue amongst us. We had similar interest, similar tastes etc. She never complained at my drinking or the vulgar jokes I cracked when with friends. We were perfect – made for each other. This remained until we took the long drive to Florida (from Atlanta). The drive went well. We were armed with ‘map-quest’ maps with turn-by-turn directions. Everything went fine until we reached a ‘de-tour’ sign. There was some road construction and the roads were blocked. I was completely out of all sense of direction. Not used to thinking if we are going North or South or East or West….. I was suddenly stuck and embarrassment flowing down as sweats from forehead… decided to drive by intuition. ‘Follow the car ahead of you’ was the policy I used. It did not work out well. It was then I started to see the true nature and color of my wife…. she became mean and started to give me directions. I would say – ‘What do you know…. You do not even know driving and you are giving me directions??? Huh?’ Yes! That was the last time I said that, since then, I have just said that in my mind, never dared to speak openly. Anyways, I always went the opposite side to what my wife said. Sometimes, it worked and she would say, ‘I intentionally told you the wrong way, so that you will take the right turn’. I would say – ‘Venda toa. Samartyam venda’ (Don’t try to act smart). All our arguments started here and the pain of insult remained in me and I carried it to everything else… I would find fault in her cooking…. ‘Is that sambar or rasam?’ She would prepare coffee and I would say the tea is not good, she would prepare chicken and I would say why is the fish like this….I can’t differentiate your cooking… all food tastes the same'. I would not miss an opportunity in praising my friend’s wife’s cooking. Our marital woes had started and from ‘made-for-each-other’ changed to ‘fate-for-each-other’… cursing our fate on whom we married. I would think, ‘Were my parents blind when they choose her for me? What were they thinking? Just to get rid of their responsibility they selected her or what!!! At least I should have taken some dowry.’ She too would say the same thing back to me altering the words here and there.

Well, everything is history now. After Disha came to our life, life is good. She has changed everything for me. She has stopped those fights between me any my wife. She is always with me when I go out. I prefer to go out with her rather than my wife. She looks good, thin and beautiful. She is good in directions too. Well behaved .. never hurts my ego, never argues, never insults, does not talk with that ‘tone’. No mood swings or attitude. She has never let me down... giving right directions always. She has affected my marriage with my wife too. The happiness Disha gives me outside my home, I carry it to inside my home and spread it across to my wife. My wife is happy too. And when time came to intoduce Disha to my wife, my heart skipped a beat .... and my wife.... she too was excited to see Disha - our new GPS Navigation system.

Why Triglycerides and Cholesterol are sometimes good for you …..

2006-08-10T11:52:00.000-07:00

The doctor read my blood report – high cholesterol, high triglycerides, over weight, no physical activity, smoking, drinking etc. and tagged me ‘high risk’. Wow!!! Congratulations!! You have everything to have worried wife.

He was right. When my wife read the report, she became really concerned and worried. The first thing she told me was to take a ‘Life Insurance’. The doctor had also attached a few sheets, one had a three colored pyramid, other had some black and white images of people running, and other had some images of some food and drinks. The plan was to make me eat healthy food, stop all bad habits and do some exercise – Get me in shape!!! were the exact words that the doctor had used. I had to exercise, run/jog whatever for 45 minutes, three days a week, every week. No smoking or drinking! No red-meat and lot of fruits. Hold on! I said, I do not eat red-meat and I drink lot of fruit/vegetable juice.

Vegetable juice? Is it V8?

No! I drink barley water (beer, whisky etc.) and occasionally grape juice (wine). I also do breathing exercise.

Breathing exercise? Yoga?

No! Inhale and exhale – smoking.

Good! Way to go!!!

Being very warm outside, we decided to buy a Treadmill. Bought a ‘fully loaded’ one – it has a fan, connects to TV and also to the computer. There is this software that you can use to track your progress and it can be sent to experts for advice. Apart from that, it has the heart rate and pulse monitor and other useless things like – Carb and calories burnt etc. We went to the showroom and ordered one…shipping and installation was not free…. So decided to rent a van and with the help of a friend brought it home….and when we finally brought it home, I had a back sprain and could not stand straight. Was in bed for whole day, and after many Tylenols and Tiger balms, was ready to walk. Bad start!!! Loss of pay for a day and the cost of medicines.

My friend suggested that the Treadmill is best as cloth hanger and swimming is the best. Went to the local YMCA and they had deals for a year membership, month to month was expensive…. Guess what! took the 1 year membership. Went swimming one day… and realized that I had chlorine allergy. Back to the doctor office and Walgreens. Though I became fairer after the chlorine bath that is not what I wanted. Also, there was a fee for cancellation which was more than the membership itself.

It was then, sombody told me about the cricket match tournament using tennis ball. I thought, after all it is not a cricket ball and I won’t get hurt, I should play. Waited for Saturday morning, woke up early in the morning, made a double omelet and drank the Boost that we had bought, carried a bottle of Gatorade. On Saturday, it rained and the game was cancelled, felt guilty of eating all that stuff thinking it would get burnt. The game was postponed to Sunday and this time, I skipped the egg and Boost. The game started an hour late…..it was fun playing especially after such a long time, approximately 10 years… I realized that I still had my thigh muscles….and soon that realization became a pain… by morning all my body parts were aching and I could not even lift my arms. Ouch!! By now, I had become a familiar face at the doctor’s office and at Walgreen’s. Another set of hot patches, ointments and taunts from my wife, was finally fit to lift my arm upwards.

You won’t believe what happened next, decided to play volleyball. Since it did not involve much running or sudden jerky actions, that was the game for me. Played safe for a week, next weekend, I was down again, this time with a broken finger and sprained wrist. It took three weeks until the doctors removed the plasters. Then when the soccer matches started, played soccer with group of friends, twisted my knees... missed work again, was in hospital and after getting discharged, was using the crutch for a week. Learnt in a hard way that outdoor activities were not good for me and decided to do yoga. The yoga book said that it should be done in comfortable clothes and most comfortable cloth for me as a ‘lungi’. I do not want to describe how my wife felt seeing me doing yoga in lungi. I am leaving it to the reader’s imagination. Yoga sessions too did not last long. My neck sprained and was walking like a robot for over a week.

That was the end of my physical activity. The doctor declared that it was better for me to have the high cholesterol and triglycerides rather than do exercises.

Now I can eat all I want, drink all I desire and live merrily, after all triglycerides and cholesterol are not bad for me....!!!

Penance that Yashoda took

2006-07-26T07:11:00.000-07:00

My wife would wake-up early in the morning, not bothering to wake me up, she would hurry to the kitchen…..she had started on her daily chores. I sneaked by and watched her expression-less face as she was wiping off the damp plates from dishwasher and putting it in order. Upon seeing me she smiled from the corner of her lips and begged me to make a coffee for her.

She had lot of things to do. Every step she took, she would either stamp on a toy or crayon or some other thing which was not supposed to be lying there. She then slowly said, as if thinking very hard, ‘You are spoiling him. Can you not ask him to keep the toys in its place? See! his toys are inside the fridge too.’ As we were talking, we heard the small steps coming towards us. Yes! It was him. He was standing near me raising both his hands towards me and eyes-half closed. He knew it was not the right time to go to Mom. Smiling, I picked him forgetting about the coffee she wanted me to make. Trying to wake him up was my favorite thing to do. More I try to wake him up, more he would hug me hard and I loved it. By this time, my wife had heated the milk for him and put in the sipper cup, putting him in her lap…. cajoling him to drink the milk …..asking him to look at the imaginary deer that just ran away, the pigeon that was waiting to be fed, the bug that would sting if he did not drink and etc., but he did not want the milk, he wanted juice. Finally, leaving him and the cup with me, she proceeded for her next activity, murmuring ‘juice in the morning…gone after you’.

As the day progressed, my son’s demands increased….now, he did not want juice either, would chew the toothbrush instead of brushing, at breakfast, he did not want dosa, but idli, he wanted cheese only to put it down and play, he wanted boiled egg but not the yolk, at lunch, he wanted spoon to eat, then a fork and then glass of water so that he could put the rice in it and play, finally wanted cookies instead of rice….he was tireless and my wife was tired dancing to his ever changing tunes. He wanted to play in the sprinkler, draw in the wall using the crayons, tear the papers, sit close to the TV, jump from sofa…. ‘She would say, you will have to eat rice to get the cookies, you will have sit in your chair to watch TV else, no cartoon’. The word ‘no cartoon’ would break his heart and wail at the top of his voice as if he had lost his precious something. ‘Miss Melting heart’ would have no other option but switch the TV on again. At the end of the day when it was time for bed, he would not go to his mom at all… he would keep running away and she would have to beg and plead again… ‘kanna… onu va daa….ketti pidikyatte ’(darling, come once to me, let me hug you). All her pleading would be of no use. She would turn to me and tell…. ‘What have I done to get a son like this?’ Seeing his mother in tears, he would rush and hug her. And to answer her question, I would say – ‘The same thing(penance) that Yashoda did’.

Narrow Escape

2006-07-06T08:47:00.000-07:00

My wife hung up the phone and stared at me with attacking looks. I wondered how a person who was laughing and smiling over the phone till now can so frown at a blink of an eye. She was talking to her relative who were planning to visit us for the weekend. She: You have to clean the house, look how dirty it is! I can not do everything by myself at this time.

Assuming that it might be just those hormonal changes I tried to pacify her.

Me: Don’t worry! I shall take care of everything. You do not have to even get up from your place. I will manage. You be there like a queen. Ok? Just tell me and I will do everything.

She: Who will cook? Who will arrange things? You will not do anything, I know…. Just sweet talk. That is what you are good at. You fooled me and I married to you because of that. They are coming tomorrow evening at 7:30 flight. Better come early as you will have lot of work before we go to pick them up.

Me: Don’t worry….”Mein hu na” (I am here) I will be here by 5:30, we will sit and chat and have coffee till 6 and then by 6:30 we will head to the airport! Ok?

She: Ok. First fold the clothes that I have kept in the bed. I just took them out from laundry.

Me: That is easy… you close your eyes and relax and by the time you open it will be done.

I had just started sorting the dress by then she yelled.

She: Can you pour some Lysol in the toilet, let it soak while you fold?

She: Listen, while the toilet bowl is soaking, why don’t you clean the bath tub…. You are already inside, isn’t it?

Me: Man! How do you do all these yourself? I have just started and my back has started aching. Can you make me a coffee? I shall do it after the coffee.

She: Can you buy some of the grocery stuff? Here is the list. Can you take him too… he will not allow me to do to anything, please take him too.

Me: Taking care of him is too much for me. I can’t.

She: Aahhaa…. You have not even appreciated me once for taking care of him all day. I take him everywhere I go and I don’t complain. You can not do it for even one day.

Me: Who said I can not take care of him? I can take care of him through out my life… but you should go to your mother’s home.

She: I know you are waiting for that… don’t think I will let you enjoy.

By the time I came back from grocery, it was time to do rest of the activity – feeding child, cleaning and arranging, discarding old mails etc. etc.

After two hours when on bed.

She: O! my God! You did not fold the clothes.

Me: Its 11 now… I will do it first thing in the morning. Even before you wake up! You will wake-up to see the clothes all folded and clean… you will wonder if you are at our place or in a hotel…. It will be so nice.

Me: Look…. I have kept the alarm at 5:30.

She: Ok ok… don’t show all that… let me see what you will do and what I will see when I wake up.

Unfortunately the alarm did not work and I was just able to make it to work on time.

She woke up at 8:30 and did not notice the clothes were not folded.

10:30AM, she calls me up.

She: Somebody spoiled all clothes that you had folded in the morning.

Me: The alarm did not work. I think he changed the timing or something. But don’t worry…. I will come back and fold… you don’t touch it… don’t even go near it… it is my work and I will do it. I don’t like anybody doing my work. You know I was raised to be independent. So, don’t even think about the clothes anymore. Ok! You do your work. I will do mine. I will come home early just to fold the clothes and don’t give me tea or coffee until I do it. Ok! Deal?

She: If I keep waiting, it will remain there itself. I don’t trust you. You don’t realize how much work I am doing here. I gave you only one small work and you did not do it. The Lysol in the toilet is still there and it looks like a stain now since you did not clean it.

Me: O! my God. I forgot about the Lysol. Why didn’t you remind me? I hate blue liquids… it stains instead of cleaning. When I was a bachelor, I put the Regal Blue drops to my white shirt and it became blue… since then I hate the blue liquids. I hate blue Listerine mouth wash too…

She: I don’t want to talk to you anymore. Bye.

Evening, I was caught in some problem at work and then got stuck in the traffic and reached home only at 7 and had enough time to pick my wife and kid to the airport. At the airport, we could see her relatives walking out as we were entering. Seeing them coming, I walked slowly trying to tell them using my body language that we were here long before. Anyways, I and my wife avoided any direct talk amongst us all through the journey. When I reached home, I ran to the bed room to check the clothes and it was not there. She had folded them neatly and arranged in the shelf. Next I checked the toilet, which too was clean. I thanked God that everything was in order. Just then my wife came by…. and said, “I have not forgotten the clothes…. Wait until they go and I will show you!”, pointing her finger skyward.

Me: (Smiling…. ) ha ha… but you will forget it by the time they go…..!!!!!!

She: Smiling… you are good for only this – sweet talk.

Ways to Sabarimala

2006-07-06T07:33:00.000-07:00

Should women go to Sabarimala? No! They should not if the rule says so. Who made the rules? Whoever made the rules, if the rule says so, they should not go. Should you take the 41 day penance, celibacy before you go to Sabrimala? I do not have time to do that, nor does my life style permit me to do it. Can I still go to the temple? Can non-Brahmins perform puja? Can we start wearing shoes inside temple, my shoes are clean? Can we have women performing puja in Guruvayur temple?

God is a belief. God is present for people who believe and is not present for those who do not. Religion has nothing to do with God. Religion is just a way of life and Worship is personal. Rules are based on beliefs. Belief being relative, rules are also relative. Personally, What is important is the respect for others beliefs meaning obeying common rules as long as it does not hurt you so bad that it can not be ignored. If it does not bother your day to day activities, the rule should be followed. If the rule discriminates, then it should be changed. Not allowing women to the temple, some may argue is sexual discrimination. Discrimination is when a person is not allowed to find a way of living or acquiring something. When a woman is asked not to visit a temple, no one is holding her from her livelihood, but only asking her to change the way of worship. When the husband takes the penance while going to Sabarimala, the wife too takes the same penance indirectly. The same devotion and bhakti that is present in the husband is shared with his wife too. The prayers that the husband chants are also recited mentally by the wife. Then, why should the wife take the pain of walking barefoot with the offerings in the head, bathing in the open rivers, using common public laboratories, when the husband is doing this for her?

Religion, God, beliefs can all be questioned. Anything based on faith does not have answers.

Pallakkad to Cochin

2006-06-23T20:59:00.000-07:00

It was late afternoon when we were getting ready to head out to Cochi - my achi veedu. It was like a four drive from Pallakkad to Cochi all the way in NH-47. I was sure that the four hour drive would be really long and tiring especially since it was the day of my wedding. After our wedding at Guruvayur early morning we went to my house at Pallakkad as per our custom and then from Pallakkad back to the girls house for first-night, that too as per custom. If things were at my hand, I would have skipped all the travel and stayed in Guruvayur itself, but customs…..

We were accompanied by my brother and his wife and then my wife's aunt. It was my brother's wedding the previous day. We had rented a Toyota Qualis, a minivan. The driver was given special instructions to turn off the AC when the bride or the groom were not present and turn it on only when they were there and in our presence he turned it on full blast and I was sort of shivering.

They wanted us to sit together and so we occupied the seat next to the driver and her aunt-uncle occupied the second row seats and my brother and sister-in-law sat at the last row. They were not considered as newly-wed (atleast by me) not only since they got married earlier to me but also since they were engaged for like 6 months. We did not have an engagement or a formal 'penu-kannal'. All we did before marriage was chat and occasional phone calls and that too lasted only for couple of months. The seat next to the driver was really congested and only one more person other than the driver could sit comfortably. We were sandwiched between the driver and door. My new wife complained (yes! Already, within hours!!) that she was sitting too close to the driver and suggested that I scoot a bit....but I had no where to go... so I held out my arms around her shoulder and pulled her towards me..... that was the first intentional physical contact I had with her. Every pot-hole and whenever the driver applied the brakes, was an opportunity for me to hold her close to my heart and whenever that happened our emotions would rise and fall like the waves in the ocean. She would occasionally look at me as if looking out the window and I too did the same. I had to look over my shoulder to see if her cheriamma (aunt) or my brother were looking or noticing anything odd. They were immersed in their conversation, at least I thought so. After around a couple of hours drive, her cheriamma noticed my occasional 'over-the-shoulder' looks and enquired if we wanted to comeback and if it was tight there. I was feeling uncomfortable that I had to hold my wife like this.... So, I told my wife that if she felt tired, she could keep her head over my shoulder and sleep and as I wanted to hear, she asked me what if she fell on the driver, and I told her that I would hold her to make sure she does not fall. That settled my embarrassment.... now I could hold her tight to my chest. But how long could I just hold her, I too decided to sleep and I acted as if I was disinterested and started looking outside and slowly closed my eyes and then I laid my chin to her head, like the proverbial cat that drank the milk closing it eyes hoping nobody notices. I do not know how or when we reached Cochin or anything..... all I was doing was holding her soft hands and occasionally pressing her fingers and she too did the same.... she would act disturbed and snuggle and come closer.

When we reached her house, we opened our eyes to the bright lights and a night sky decorated with stars hanging like jasmine flowers. The river filled with our emotions and boat filled with stories of our love stopped flowing. A journey I did not want, ended up with wishing for more. Do I have to wait for a life time to take this journey again?

Does Vegetarian food make you lazy?

2006-06-22T10:14:00.000-07:00

I do not think eating non-vegetarian food will make you fat and obese and bring all the disease that the doctors tell. In fact, I think, eating non-vegetarian food will make you active, attractive and also add to your personality.

Look at the carnivores animals, they are so active and energetic and sharp. If a human is very sharp, they are compared to with eagles, if a human is fast, he is compared to a tiger or lion or cheetah. Now, look at the herbivores, like Elephant, Cow etc… they are huge and lazy. They do not even move until they are in danger. When a human is lazy, they are often compared to buffaloes. None of the good qualities are ever attributed to Vegetarian animals.

According to the books, what we eat decides our physical well being as well as our mental makeup. So, my theory is that eating vegetarian food is detrimental to ones health. It may make you lazy. Where as eating non-vegetarian food will make you active, smart, respected etc.

On second thoughts, the Vegetarian animals are huge and lazy because, they do not have to hunt for their food; what they eat rarely moves. They just have to stand and eat. When they are full they sit in some corner digest it and when hungry get up again and do the same thing. But, for the Carnivores animals, they have to hunt and fight for their food, they have to be always looking…. that might be what makes them active, sharp etc….

So, does food really determine the nature of a person? Or is it the nature of work that you to do determine the nature of the person? Is it really necessary to divide food into Vegetarian and non-vegetarian since there is no purpose or effect on humans other than the source of it? It makes more sense to me (as per the Hindu books) where the food is divided into three types: (1) Sattvic (pure) food: one which increases longevity, purity, strength, health, happiness and taste and which is juicy, oily, and durable in nature. (2) Rajasic (hot) food: one which is bitter, sour, salty, hot and spicy, burning and which gives unhappiness, sorrow and disease and (3) Tamasic (intoxicating) food: one which is stored and devoid of any juices, dried, foul smelling, decomposed, left over and indigestible.

Do Animals believe in God?

2006-06-21T12:50:00.000-07:00

Recently I have been reading books on Swami Vivekananda, Mahatma Gandhi and other great philosophers who have written based on their knowledge of Vedas. Swami Vivekananda says that if you have to understand the world, you need to generalize. That is true. If you look into how a living body is made, we all have the same structure. We have a wrist, so do dogs, cows, cats, elephants, lions and reptiles and birds. Then we have the elbow, same is true for the above animals, then the shoulder…. Same for the animals mentioned. Of course, we do not have tails… but understand I am just generalizing. Two eyes, two legs, similar nose, ears etc. etc.

There are differences too… those differences are only on the shape, design, degree of use etc… but not concept. Conceptually, animals and humans are same, except that it does not deceive or cheat or lie.

Now, to my main concern, do the animals too believe in God? Do they pray? When not reading on Swami Vivekananda or Gandhi, I watch Animal Planet. According to studies, animals have feelings, affection and almost all emotions that we people have. I was shocked when I saw the movie – ‘March of the Penguins’ (I know, they did not show this on Animal Planet). But, if they have similar emotions, do they also believe in God? Most of us pray (generalization) for some selfish purpose be it loving spouse, healthy child, safe living, comforts etc. I am sure animals too want them. Animals too protect their children, expect safe living etc. and so won’t they have to ask that from somebody? As I child, I used to throw stones at dogs and they would run to the house where they feel safe and hide until the danger (me and my friends) walks away. So, when the dog hides, will it not pray so that we do not find it or hurt it? Do they understand the concept of God? Do they not understand the concept of God? It seems animals can see more than what humans can see. Do you think they would have already seen God? Is it true that the dog howls when it sees ‘Yama dharma raja’? Can it see them? Or does it know that there is no God and that is the reason it does not pray?

Confusion

2006-06-21T12:16:00.000-07:00

I am confused.....I do not know the equivalent word for 'Confusion' in Hindi? Nor do I know the equivalent word for it in Malayalam or Tamil. Called my dad and asked he too could not think of any word exactly equivalent... then asked my Telgu friends if they knew the telgu word... they too did not know... asked some tamil friends, they too did not know.

Recollected those Hindi dialogues where Amitabh says 'Mere dictionary mein nahin hein' . My mentality says that if I do not know/understand something thing, then it does not exist. So, may be there is not word called 'confusion' in any Indian language at all.... or is it that people are slowly forgetting their mother-tongue??? I was talking to my friend earlier on how we no longer say 'I Love you' in our mother-tongue. Same with 'I hate you'. Using such lines in our mother-tongue will make us feel out of place - 'Where are you from? What language are you talking? Is that pure Malayalam? Are you being poetic? '

I am really confused!!!

What should Google do next?

2006-06-06T13:48:00.000-07:00

My list of things that Google should do:

1) Google should start a 'Tax preparation software' to compete with H&R Block and the likes.
Features: Should be able to tell what others are doing to save on their taxes.
2) Google Credit Card - should be able to pay bills too.
Features: Should report the amount paid as Sales Tax and help in computing deductible while filing taxes. Should display the store where the same product is being sold at a lesser rate thereby enabling shopper to do a price match immediately.
3) Google Browser - kill IE and Mozilla.
Features: Can think of anything that IE and Mozilla do not have.
4) Google Gas station - kill Exxon
Features: Lowest rate.
5) Google Mart - kill Walmart
Features: Can't think of any right now
6) Google Car - Kill Honda and Toyota
Features: I shall come up with the list when I have some more time.

Headline opinions!!!

2006-06-06T13:28:00.000-07:00

I was late to work today …. I stayed back to listen to the Headline news. Then, I got into an argument with my colleague on some trivial issue. We were discussing about something we read on the Newspaper. We discussed and argued and spent a good amount of time over the topic. We do this very often. It is sometimes on ‘How the Tamil Nadu government can allow non-brahmins to perform pujas in temples’, sometimes it is the war in Iraq, sometimes it is the dropping of Ganguly from the team… reservation issue, poverty in India, religion, on how to bring-up children, on how doctors publish contradictory reports etc… the list is not small and we always have something to discuss.

It is good to have some meaningful discussions especially politics, the things we can not discuss with our spouse at home. The wrong thing here is that most of the discussions are based upon the headline news that we read and listen half-heartedly.

I wonder how many of the discussions we have are based on thorough research and not just reading some ‘masala’ website. I remember discussing with my friend on an incident that happened few years back, when a SC/ST girl from Kerala committed suicide for not being able to continue her studies. There was a mini-bandh in Kerala and the buses and other properties were destroyed. I too was upset on the girl’s death and we argued on how wrong things are. My opinion was based on after reading one newspaper. When I read different newspapers, I got more details and a different version of the event. Now, whom do I trust? I read few more newspapers and after spent some time every day to read the story about this subject and finally I came to the conclusion that the whole incident was unwarranted. The girl died for completely different reason than as first reported. How many people would have resorted to violence by reading/hearing the first report? Who is to blame? Is it not our fault to jump to conclusions based on reading just the headline and not reading the whole story?

What would be a society where people’s opinions, views, thoughts and actions are based upon headline news that changes from time to time and from source to source, a society where people do not have enough time to think thoroughly about anything?

Where are those wrist watches

2006-06-06T12:10:00.000-07:00

I no longer wear a wrist-watch. I also noticed that many men now-a-days do not wear one. Guess it’s the PDA and cell phones that have taken the place of the wrist watch.

I remember, my dad never forgetting to wear one. He would come back home to pick it up in case he forgot. He does the same now too. I guess he felt the way I feel when I forget my cell-phone – naked!

I do not even recollect when I bought a watch for myself. The last one I had was as a gift from my in-laws. This one had a silver strap and a golden dial – Titan. Real expensive! The one before that was ‘buy a perfume and get a watch free’ thing. The last time I bought one for somebody was one for my wife - Fossil – a pinkish brown with a pink tanned strap. She wore it for few days and finally got bored, I guess. I have not seen her wearing one for a long time… nor have I bothered to ask her.

I have not been following the features of the recent watches... but as I a child, I still remember the change from dial to electronic, from the winding ones to battery to solar, then there was the one with alarm beeps, then ones with radiums to see in the dark, then ones that are water-proof, then ones with shock absorbers, then the talking ones, the ones that measure your BP, heartbeat etc., and now that plays mp3.

I always wanted to buy a ‘Rolex’ for my dad, but now I feel a watch is not really worth. It does not have Internet, it does not have a camera, no ring-tones, it is not IPOD ready, no calendar, no weather information is available, no traffic reports, no compass or GPS …… would it be just not cool to have a watch with all the features… or do they call one with all the above features a ‘Cell phone’?

Designer Upma

2006-06-02T12:04:00.000-07:00

I like to see my wife and baby sleep on a lazy weekend morning. She refuses to open her eyes. One of things I like to do on such a day is prepare some hot coffee and then keep the breakfast ready before they wakeup. I made this upma for her just to see the smile.

Though Upma is considered like a 'adopted child' of breakfast.... see her all dressed up like a dulhan .....

I like the spiced up Upma to any other breakfast esp. because it is easy to make... the preparation steps are easy and no leaving the flour overnight, no side-dishes required.... just put in your favourite vegetables.... though considered as 'beginner's receipe' or 'bachelor's menu'.... does not take the taste out of it.

Heart ful Fish keema

2006-06-02T11:44:00.000-07:00

We had invited my wife's 'balyakala sakhi' for lunch the other day and she cooked some excellent food, something she had never done for me.

I had to do my bit.... though content is king, presentation is essential, so I added some design to the already tasty and delightful food. Made two hearts of the Fish Keema - one my wife and the other her firend and then put a smile to the bottom - my happiness.

Ghosts and music

2006-06-01T06:10:00.000-07:00

Read the news that one of the Hindi song - Jhalak Diklaja is attracting ghosts and whoever sings it gets 'possessed'. Strange!!!!
I am getting tempted to listen to the songs and have so far consciously avoided it. I might listen to it later on in the day. Not sure if what is true in Gujrath is true here in US. Wondering if something happens to me.... where do I go? It also reminds me of the various movies made with such a concept - a lady in a white sari, long black untied hair... walking in a cloud of smoke and singing that haunted song.... and then a dog howling in the background and gush of wind slamming the window but the curtains slowing floating ......

Interesting news... that needs to be followed.... ;-)

More later.

Reservation Issue

2006-05-31T12:11:00.000-07:00

It pains to see the educated back-bone of our country protesting in the streets for their 'birth right'. Yes! I feel 'Opportunity for the deserving' is one's birth-right. To add salt to the wounds, the SC has passed out a stern order. Most of the students who are protesting are from middle class whose parents would have sweated-out to provide them with the education their children deserve.
I really wish some 'high-profile' citizen comes forward and voice their opinion. By high-profile citizen, I do not mean a politician. Remember when there was a 'worm' in some chocolate, the company brought in Amithab Bachan in their advertisements; Coke/Pepsi brought in Film stars! Govinda came forward for Salmaan. Aamir for Narmada Project! Why is no one coming forward for the Reservation issue? I really wish atleast one high-profile person comes forward and speaks their mind. I was surprised to see Navjoth Sidhu voice his opinion.
There should be no reservation in 'Professional Fields'. Reservation can be in 'Back-office' operations and only to the economically backward citizens, if possible, reservation should be based only on 'Commitment'.

A story about six fingers....

2005-12-27T08:04:00.000-08:00

I was born with six fingers in my right hand. My parents decided not to put it to the trash as somebody told them it is supposed to bring luck. I do not recollect how it looked when I was born. My earliest memory of my tiny sixth finger were those embarassing moments in the Biology class where the teacher would always take me as an example for that weird mutation caused congenital malformation or whatever they called it (hexadactyly). And if the teacher had forgotten about me, there were a bunch of guys to shout 'He has has it!!!'

Upset by these, I asked my parents to chop it off. They explained me how lucky I was to get the sixth finger. When I was very small, some 5 months old, a bunch of people kidnapped me for human sacrifice. They put me in a sack and took me in a cart and I was without food for 2 days. Then they put me in front of the idol and started chanting and finally when they were ready for the sacrifice, they noticed that I had six fingers and realized that I had been 'blessed by the gods' and they immediately took me back to my parents and apologised for what happened. They also gave lot of gold coins to my parents. Anyways, that was long back. The Biology classes would make me wish that it would have been better if they had indeed sacrificed me.

Time heals...well time also changed things. My sixth finger soon became attractive to most of the girls. I no longer had to hide them. Though the guys felt that it was the ugliest thing, the girls always wanted to touch it and shower with nice words. She would say - 'How cute?' and a butterfly would fly in my stomach. 'Can I touch it?' and another butterfly would fly in my stomach with that 'madhura sparsham'. Then she would hold my palm and feel the finger... and my stomach would be full of butterflies. 'Does it pain?' I would say... 'nooo go ahead hold it for some more time. Its all yours!'. 'Do you feel the touch?' (Ofcourse.... I can feel it!!!! ;-) ) 'Can you move just your this finger?' 'Do you cut your nails?' 'How do you cut your nails? Does it pain?' 'Can you hold anything with it?' This question was the best one as I would get the oppurtunity to touch them back. I would hold her palm and slowly touch (thotum-thodathiyum) with it and it would tickle her as if I was brushing her with a peacock feather and she would stretch her hand all the way and holding her ears to her shoulder, controlling herself and meanwhile spreading the 'prema-gandham', then, I would slowly pinch her arms and my mind,speech and deed would all be in three different directions, all lacking clarity. My god.... you should see her smile and laugh when I do that.....Man! I was indeed lucky.

It seems the Panda bears have six fingers too and they use it for eating, though I could do everything as usual, I have never used my finger for anything else. It is as smooth and soft like a baby's finger. Being soft it was prone to all injuries. Even the edges of a paper would tear and cut my finger and bleed profusely. It was sensitive too, I remember once when the teacher hit me with a cane and it hit my little finger and it pained terribly, it was like how it would have been if a 'pain gets an headache' - unbearable.

My extra finger does not trouble me except I sometimes have problem wearing gloves, or when I go to the bowling alley and I have to use my left hand. With a hope of getting into the Limca book of records, I would practice to write by keeping the pen inbetween my thumbs. Then I would sometimes keep pens inbetween every finger and I could keep five of them and then would paint using all of them at the same time. No luck on that yet!

By the by,recent studies indicate that the sixth finger is a dominant trait and it has a selective advantage and its time that more and more people will have six fingers in their hands. Who knows, tomorrow a five fingered person will be considered weird and taken as an example in their biology class. Looking forward for that day......

For you.... Ninaku vendi ....

2005-12-11T08:11:00.000-08:00

Ninuku vendi.........
(For you.............)

Marzhayil kudayayi varam
(In the rain, will come as an umberella)
Vylil thanal aayi varam
(In the hot sun, will come as a shade)
Iruttil nirzal aayi varam
(In darkness, will come as your shadow)
Pularchayil manj aayi varam
(At dawn, will come as dew drops)
Pagalil suryan aayi varam
(In Morning, will come as sun-rays)
Rathriyil nilav aayi varam
(At night, will come as moon-light)
Katil manum aayi varam
(With the winds, will come as scent)
Povil nirum aayi varam
(In the flowers, will come as colour)
Theynil maduram aayi varam
(In honey, will come as swetness)
Nanikyumbol manas aayi varam
(In shyness, will come as heart)
Mansil snehum aayi varam
(In your heart, will come as love)
Urangabol nidra ayi varam
(At bed-time, will come as sleep)
Nidrayil swapnam aayi varam
(In sleep, will come as dream)
Unarumbol unarv aayi varam
(When waking-up, will come as freshness)
Unarvil ormaya aayi varam
(When awake, will come as thoughts)
Thanichu irkyumbol kutu aayi varam
(When alone, will come as companion)

Marikyombol....
(In death....)
marikyumbol... kude varam
(In death....will come with you)

Childth sense

2005-11-27T08:02:00.000-08:00

I am proposing that a new word be introduced called 'Childth Sense'. What does it mean? The noun means: a power of waking up at the exact time when you are not supposed to and then ask for all the attention : a keen distruptive attitude.

Let me explain with couple of examples.
Example 1: You are a lady and you have just completed your 100th lullaby and have fallen into deep sleep after feeding your baby upto the nose. As soon as your heart beat settles to the normal rythm, your sweety wakes up and cries at the top of the voice. The ability of the baby to identify this time is called the 'Childth Sense'

One more example.
Example 2: Its your wedding anniversary and you are planning to have a dinner together with your spouse at your home. The food is all ready, you smile and wait for appreciation from your hubby. He tastes it and smiles even wider and you are happy and you take the food to eat. The time at which your hand is about to reach your mouth will be the exact time when your baby wakes up and cries and brings the roof down.
(PS: Example 2 is relevant to only desi's who want to keep thier children with them always and not send to a day-care center).

Ok! One more example to make my bid stonger:
Example 3: You are in the bed with your spouse. You touch your spouse's hand, the fingers turns into a painting brush and run over from your partners forehead ..... ! Let me cut rest of the description and come to the point... you are ready to make love. You are ready...you have made sure that you have taken the precautions.... ready, set and gone.... your child wakes up and cries.....

The ability of a child's senses to identify and wake up at the instances where the child needs to be in deep sleep is called the 'Childth Sense'.

Pi ke Pat : A leaf out of my Calcutta days

2005-11-27T07:58:00.000-08:00

I love Calcutta. The people are very nice and friendly. They are very accommodating. They treat you like God when you visit them. Feed you with the best sweets. Prepare some exotic dishes. Wow! The kindness of the Bengalis are unlimited.

I used to visit the road-side tea stall. These tea stalls were so differnet from the ones in Kerala or Madras. Only the boiling milk vessel indicated that it was a tea-stall, no shelter, no benches, no newspapers..... What I liked in the tea-stall is the cup in which they give tea. It was made up of clay. Almost everybody preferred drinking in the mud cup. The taste of the tea in mud-cup was so very different from drinking from a glass cup. You should drink it to understand. My good friend Abijith-da took me to the tea-stall and ordered for dui chai (two tea's) and told me it is called 'pi ke pat'. 'Pi ke pat' means, 'drink and throw(bang)'. You basically drink the tea and throw the cup hard so that it breaks . I laughed when I heard how they coined that word. Later I was addicted to it.

Then I started to have rasagollas in the earthen cup. Then had 'misthi doi' (sweet yoghurt). Man! that was lovely. Every thing that came in this mud cup had an extra taste. Its was like have a south-indian meal in a plantain leaf.
One day, we went to have 'Pani puri', and they loved to call it 'puchka' mmm. Me being new to Calcutta, did not know how to eat it. So the puchka walla gave me a leaf, nicely folded like a funnel head. Then he took the puri stuffed with masala, dipped it in the special water and then placed it in my leaf. I took the puri, drank the water and threw away the puri. And Abijith-da was jumping with laughter.... telling, this is not pi-ke-pat. You eat the puri too along with the water and finally when you are done, you throw away the leaf.

Wish I could go back to Calcutta and eat all those things again, those egg-rolls, those samosas (singada), those jilaybees, those milk sweets... those paan... thoose mudi (rice flakes with ground-nut, onion and chili and lemon), wish I could see the pandals during pujas, the decorated idols, the beautiful women, the friendly men, the jovial attitude, their intellectual thoughts and talks. mmmm!! Indeed a City of Joy. Man!!! Am I missing that life or what?

Happiness to me....

2005-10-27T07:56:00.000-07:00

Happiness to me comes from small things.....
... seeing my baby sleep
... seeing him cry after waking up and stretching his hands to pick him up
... seeing my wife sleep hugging my baby
... sleeping with my baby in my arms
... seeing my wife not willing to wake up on a weekend morning
... changing my baby's daipers
... making coffee for my wife on a lazy weekend
... making break-fast and keeping it ready before my wife wakes up
... planting a kiss on my wife's cheek when my baby is not looking
... my wife holding my hands when her parents are around
... my wife calling my name instead of her mother's name when in pain
... carrying the bag of grocery while my wife walks besides me holding our baby
... reaching the door of my house and waiting to see the smile in my baby's face

............. many more such small things are the ones that keep my heart ticking......

Hummer Off Road Test Drive.

2005-10-11T07:50:00.000-07:00

Last weekend I took the Hummer Off-Road test drive. It was Priya's dream to own a Hummer. She would always say 'Can we buy a Hummer instead of a house?'. Anyways, had seen advertisement and clippings of the Hummer and was interested, but was not sure. The thought that would come to my mind was: 'When we are never going to buy this why should I test drive?' After I saw the invitation, I called the dealer to schedule an appointment for the test drive. I was still not sure if I would go for the event. In the invitation they had mentioned that there would be no sales pitch or pressure, which was one more reason for me going for the event. The most important reason for going was Priya. I wanted to take the drive and tell her how it was. I then scheduled the test drive for 2pm Saturday.
I showed up late and the Customer service was more than happy to fit me into the next slot which was at 4pm. I had over 1 hour to browse through the show room. I first started looking at the H1. Those are the ones that the Military folks use, I guess. They were huge and ugly. There was not enough room at the driver's seat. The door was too close to the seats. I had to move to my side before I closed the door. The controls inside were nicely arranged, all of them facing the driver. The seats were not so comfortable. It was the same with the passenger side seat too, not so comfortable and too close to the door. Looked like they had too much stuff fit between the two seats. Next was H2. That too was huge but looked better than H1. The seats were comfortable and bucket shaped. The door was not as close. I did not have to bang the door to close it too. Nice leg space etc. Then, I looked at the H3. H3 falls into the category of SUV's. This is smaller than the other two, still big, but was too good. Everything inside was nice and hard. H3 was different from other SUV's like the 4runner and other cars. Those were more of luxury and this looked like a performance car. It had the ‘Rough and Tough’ look.

There were around 20 Hummers (H2 and H3's) lined up for the test drive. We were grouped so that one vehicle would have two couples. The vehicle I got was numbered as V-15 and was accompanied by another heavy-weight couple. The man (Bob) would have weighed 400 pounds easily and I suspected that the vehicle would get grounded. Anyways, I was too excited and quickly found the vehicle and took on to the driver's seat, Buckled-up, started and waited. When Bob got into the vehicle, it did not even move. Wow! I was impressed; I was expecting it would flip-over. It was time for the test drive and each vehicle had a two-way radio and the instructors were instructing.... 'Go slow and steady'. They were worried because in a whole around $600K were at stake, any damage would be expensive for all. I was getting excited and wanted the vehicles ahead of me to move quickly so that I could start. All were taking their sweet time. The vehicles ahead of me started to move slowly and my turn came. The Instructor, Sean, pointed me to take a left and wait. I slowly moved front, took a left turn and .......... could not see a damn thing after that. It was a steep fall from there and I could not see where I was going to. I wanted to ask Sean if I could get down and see where I was heading too. Man! it was like a free fall for me... not knowing where you are going. He waved his hand prompting me to come forward.... and I took little baby steps... one at a time, at the brake and acceleration. As we were slowly and smoothly going down, I could see the grass and gravel in the ground. Next was uphill. The uphill was equally steep... I pushed the gas pedal and we were now looking at the sky. (We had our sun-roof open). I could hear things fall from the lady's hand bag, who was sitting tight lipped at the back. As I reached the top ... it was the same thing... do not know where I was heading to as I could not see anything beyond me other than the clear blue sky. After those two difficult slopes, it was the rocks. I would have never driven over the rocks if it were my own vehicle. The rocks looked dangerous. Then, there was this sharp and tilted curve. As I took the turn, I felt like I was driving a bike in the 'death well', remember 'Gemini Circus' where the guy goes round and round inside the well, it was more or less like that, except that I had to do it just once and I was not in a bike. Here, too, I was worried that the Vehicle would flip-over. I was more worried thinking what would have happened if Bob fell over me- Yes the seat belt worked and he remained there and the car did not flip-over. The next track was mud-track. There was a swamp and we had to go downhill and then uphill. I was sure, it would slide all the way down and then we would then not able to go up after that. Sean instructed us to change the gear setting to 4Up. We were driving 4down till then. Man! the car just took us all the way down and then up as if there was not mud or swamp there. It was now time to switch drivers and I did not want to give it away. Bob drove the second half of the track and I got to sit at the passenger seat. It was as exciting to just sit and watch. Bob was more experienced than me. He was like a pro. He would intentionally go over logs; he would drive in-between the swamp and laugh when the car slid. The whole trip was like a trip to Six-flags.

Yes! Now, I too want to buy this Hummer. It is expensive but affordable. They say it 'drinks' fuel, but, it is as bad as Toyota 4runner or Nissan Xtra. I guess, I should start saving some money for my next HumV - H3. (And Priya is going to say ‘Yes’ to me atleast this time, for a change!!!)

Random Thoughts : Oct07-2005

2005-10-07T08:00:00.000-07:00

Random Thoughts : Oct07-2005
Thought #1 Looking at the speed-o-meter of my car.... I was thinking 'Damn! so much space wasted.' What they should have done is just kept an electronic speed-o-meter, or atleast something similar to a weighing scale... where the needle (pointer) remains at the same place and the reading behind it moves according to the weight/speed. The car's speedometer also should be similar. Instead of a circular speed-o-meter, have a small strip which can display the current speed. This will save lots of space in the display area, which can be used for various other purpose.
Thought #2 All cars should have a 'speed reminder' which can be set like your cruise control. New cars have something called 'dynamic cruise control', which basically calculates the speed of the car ahead of you and adjusts the speed accordingly. 'Speed Reminder' should be programable and set to a desired speed and when you cross that speed it should start beeping. I have had many time driven without realizing the speed at which I was travelling. Last time I got a hefty ticket was I was driving at 90MPH where the speed limit was 70MPH. Actually, I did not realize that I was going that fast. There was lot of stop and go traffic before that and I could not use my cruise control and then when the road cleared... I just sped. The speed reminder will also be helpful when you are driving at local roads where the speed is 40PMH and can't use your cruise control. All you have to do is set your 'Speed Reminder' to something like 45MPH and it would beep when you over-speed. The chime could be like the one you get when you do not put the seat-belts or when you leave your headlights on.

Thought #3 The cricket match should add a new option where a player gets a 'second-chance'. The captain should be able to allow one player to come-back and continue from where he was when he got out. For e.g. if the batsman (Sachin) got out at 99, the team desperatly needs one player to bat well, he could sacrifice Harbajan Singh's batting and make Sachin bat from 99. That way, Sachin could complete his century and the team could get some good scores too. The batsman would be allowed to play only 5 overs at the max. And if he gets out, he can not come back. Similarly, a bowler can also come back after his spell of 10 overs and bowl an extra 2 or 3 overs. This should be in addition to the 'Super-sub'. The rule can be named - 'Second-chance' or 'Trump card'.

Forget her? Move on?

2005-09-25T08:08:00.001-07:00

She died and was not alone during the last moments. She had her daughters and son around her during her last moments. May her soul rest in peace. She could not survive the battle against death and had to give up. The drips and all the medicines could not fight the powerful forces. Now, for us it is time to move on and forget her. She is no more. Forget her. She has been laid to rest. Forget her and move on. Inspite of me repeating the words 'Forget her, Move on!' to myself, I have not been able to either forget her or move on. ...

She was the one who gave birth to an angel- my loving mother. She was the one who held my mother in her laps and fed her with her blood. How can I forget that. As I held my son on to my shoulder and sang a lullaby, I recollected, she too would have done the same thing to my mother, to me, to my brothers. But, is there any point recollecting all this when I was not there with her during the last days nor was I there during the final moments when she was laid to rest. A 'phone call' is what I did. 'Amma, sorry to hear her go.' - I said. 'Did everybody come?', I asked. She said, 'Yes! and everybody has left too. They just waited for the funeral and left.' God! I said to myself. Why does nobody have time? I did not dare tell this to my mom. What if she asked me - 'Why did you not come?' What if she asked me - 'Why did you not come when your dad had an heart attack? Why did you not come when I had a fracture in my leg and I could not even walk with out help? You should have sent your wife to look after me!' I did not have any answers if she had asked me.

Ofcourse, I had answers. But those answers would have been from the mouth of a selfish son who does not want to sacrifice the comfort of having his wife and child around. It would have been from an unfaithful son. Amma, if I take vacation, I may be left with no job here and end up loosing a lot. Should I tell that to get her sympathy? Should I tell that so that she does not feel bad on why her son is so heartless? Will she feel dejected on the way they brought us up? or just 'Forget her, Move on ??'

A real Ghost story

2005-09-25T08:08:00.000-07:00

Yesterday, it rained heavily and thunder was so bright that it made the moon fade for a moment. I ran into my lonley and empty house, greeted with darkness.... I rushed upstairs and dried myself.

Now that she is not here with me, this is how my usual preparation for my bedtime is: I take my cholestrol medicines before bedtime. It has a side effect that it causes flusing to my face. To avoid that I need to have yoghurt and asprin 30 minutes before I take the medicine. I make it a point to keep a table fan near me before sleeping with a auto-time of 60 minutes. After that, I put an ointment to my eye to reduce my 'corneal degeneration'. The ointment is so viscous that once I apply it, it becomes very difficult to see and I am not only colour blind (though for some reason I can not see colour at night) but also partially blind. The art of applying oinment to your eye yourself is a talent in itself and the art of reaching your bed after applying the ointment is another talent. Will talk about it sometime later.

Anyways, I did all the above rituals yesterday too but for some reason, I felt that something was not complete. Something inside me was telling that I had forgotten something. Went to my bed with a heavy foot with my eyes closed and managed to lie in the proper position where my face would get the maximum breeze from the fan. As I was about to fall asleep..... I felt somebody was there in the room. I tried to hear for any noises (remember, I can not open my eyes because of the ointment). My eyebrows took the shape of a mountain as my ear muscles and drums grew large and sensitive. I felt a shot of hot breeze hit my toes, as if somebody was breating heavily over my toes, but the breeze was so intense that I felt it was not somebody's breath but the frequency of it hitting my toes were regular. It would hit my toes and then stop for like 6 seconds and then again hit it for another 6 seconds and it continued for like 5 times. I was getting nervous. Then it stopped momentarily. Then, I felt someone touching my toes. The touch soon turned to a hold. I could now feel somebody was holding my right leg toe. I wanted to open my eyes to see, but I could not. I waited to find out what it would do next. It held my toe more harder and I could not move my leg even a bit. I now, lifted my left leg and pushed against my right toe to remove the hold but my left leg could not feel anybody holding. Suddenly it twisted my toes and I had to let go my left foot and bring it back so that I could have a grip and not roll down. It then bent my toes forward and pressed it harder and I could feel my blood flow from near my nails. There was no pain though. I do not recollect what happened after that.... when I woke up in the morning there was few drops of blood in the floor and my toe was black and bruised as if it was crushed.

Do not know what happened.

Waiting for her call

2005-09-19T08:09:00.000-07:00

Today is Monday and I am expecting her call.
Before I go further, I would like to share a riddle/joke with you all.
'What is the opposite of STD?' (Pandi's and Mallu's will appreciate the joke). I have posted the answer at the end.
Second question, Which is right? Blind forgiveness to judicious anger?
While you think, you can read my blog .......We were born and bought up in a religious family but never ever practiced strict worshipping. I have been of late, bit more religious owing to ‘1008’ (aayirathi yetu prachanai) problems that I have been facing. I do not forget to tell my prayers before sleeping and after I wake up. But my wife is different, married only for few years now has not faced any real problems. Her marriage with me was also an easy and quick one and as such does not pray. On asking, she usually says, ‘Should I really thank God for getting you as my husband?’ ...After her pregnancy and child birth and other hormonal changes, she has been affected by memory loses. Initially, I mistook it for her laziness. But now, the problem seems to be getting serious. She forgets something or the other everyday. Whenever we go to the malls, she would either forget her Keys or Credit card or Purse or baby’s Diaper bag, or Milk bottle or something. Next day, she would call me at work and plead, 'I cannot find our house keys. Can you go to JC Penny and get it?' I will have to tell my boss some lie and get out of work earlier. Every Monday, there will be something or the other. If it were JCPenny this week, next would be Sears or Bath and Body works. If it were Keys this week, then it would be something else next week. Embarrassing indeed it is, what is more painful is that every time she looses something and until we get it back, she would have promised herself to donate $X to the temple, where X is the same variable that we studied in college & school. X would vary depending on the value of the Article lost. First thing she lost was her watch (I still do not believe her version of loosing and I think she intentionally threw it away), then, she had promised that she would make me ‘fast’ for a day. Then, she lost our marriage ring (I still do not believe her version of loosing this too and I think she intentionally threw it away), she promised that she would make me 'fast' for every Saturday for a year. Saturday being a weekend was usually the party time with my hi-spirited friends where drinks and non-veg was unlimited in addition to all the cigarettes. Now that I have stopped drinking, smoking and non-veg, she no longer promises that. Now it is the $$. What surprises me is that she never forgets those incidents where I had spoken rudely to my mother-in-law or looked secretly at the girl next door. ...Harsh words and arguments being the root of every conflict in the world, I have chosen blind forgiveness to judicious anger to all her acts, meanwhile, praying that her hormonal level comes back to normal and also that she be not so religious.
Today, being Monday.... I am still waiting for her call....

The answer to my riddle -- Opposite of 'S T D ' is 'No Coffee Da' ...

Gowri Kalyanam

2005-09-02T08:07:00.000-07:00

Gowri was the only daughter of her blind and old parents. They had a late marriage which could be because of their physical disability and they had this beautiful daughter when they were in their 40's. Gowri was of my age, we both grew up together but under completely different family atmosphere and circumstances. In spite of us being neighbors we hardly spoke or looked directly at each other. Our village - Karnapuram was very orthodox. The village had a mixture of Malayalees and Tamil Brahmins who were called Palakkad Iyers. She was a Palakkad iyer. There was nothing common between us. Nothing at all. We used to fetch water from the same well, bathe in the same pond, go to the same temple, go to the same market,but,the language she spoke was different, the people with whom she mixed were different, the looks she had was different, the food she ate was different. Everything was different.

Gowri was a very beautiful girl since childhood. Her parents being blind, not much care was taken of her. We used to see elderly women going in and out of their house and I guessed they were helping her parents. Her father was a very good classical singer. A taxi would come once a week to pick him up for the 'kacheri'. Gowri would stand beside the wooden pillar. She never wore a dress. The only dress I had seen her put was her under wear. Her mother being blind, I guess, never realized that she was growing up. She did not go to school. I used to see her playing naked in the streets making mud castles when I returned from school. She too, like her father, used to sing nicely. She was like a nightingale. Her songs would fill the whole street. Her favorite was the 'Kaanthanodu chenu melle killi morzhi suchamihavada...' from Swathithirunal. My eyes would be filled with tears whenever I heard her sing that song. She used to sing it quite often and this song became my favorite too. I used to think if she indeed had a 'beloved' whom she wanted to convey her feelings. She never met anybody, whom did she wait for? Who was that? I would forget that thought when she sang the next song and I would get immersed in her next song. The songs she sang always had great lyrics and words, words like - 'Iswarande nidhi' (God's treasure), 'Thingalam uyarnu vannu, chenkanal choriyunnu...'(Moon's soft light is like burning redhot flame). She was good in 'handi-crafts' too. She made flowers out of papers that would fool even a bee. She painted well, so well that it would put the rainbow to shame. Such was she!

One magic day, I saw her all dressed up. She looked like an angel. She was covered with 'pattu paavada'(silk skirt). The exposing body parts like her hand were covered with 'Manjal'(Turmeric). Her palm was decorated with 'myilanji'(Mehndi). Her forehead had 'sindoorum and chandanam' like a rising sun (sindoor and sandlewood paste). Her eyes sparkled like a diamond. The bangles in her hand were like waterfall. Smile like a light wave. It was her 'Thirandu Kalyanam' - the day of her puberty.

She no longer could be seen naked. She no longer could be seen playing. She no longer could be seen hanging on to her father's shoulder. Only sign of her ambrosial presence was the celestial ko-lam(colorful patterns with rice powder). How I wished I could attend Gowri's kalyanam (marriage) too. Wonder how beautiful she would be looking!!!