A story about six fingers....

I was born with six fingers in my right hand. My parents decided not to put it to the trash as somebody told them it is supposed to bring luck. I do not recollect how it looked when I was born. My earliest memory of my tiny sixth finger were those embarassing moments in the Biology class where the teacher would always take me as an example for that weird mutation caused congenital malformation or whatever they called it (hexadactyly). And if the teacher had forgotten about me, there were a bunch of guys to shout 'He has has it!!!'

Upset by these, I asked my parents to chop it off. They explained me how lucky I was to get the sixth finger. When I was very small, some 5 months old, a bunch of people kidnapped me for human sacrifice. They put me in a sack and took me in a cart and I was without food for 2 days. Then they put me in front of the idol and started chanting and finally when they were ready for the sacrifice, they noticed that I had six fingers and realized that I had been 'blessed by the gods' and they immediately took me back to my parents and apologised for what happened. They also gave lot of gold coins to my parents. Anyways, that was long back. The Biology classes would make me wish that it would have been better if they had indeed sacrificed me.

Time heals...well time also changed things. My sixth finger soon became attractive to most of the girls. I no longer had to hide them. Though the guys felt that it was the ugliest thing, the girls always wanted to touch it and shower with nice words. She would say - 'How cute?' and a butterfly would fly in my stomach. 'Can I touch it?' and another butterfly would fly in my stomach with that 'madhura sparsham'. Then she would hold my palm and feel the finger... and my stomach would be full of butterflies. 'Does it pain?' I would say... 'nooo go ahead hold it for some more time. Its all yours!'. 'Do you feel the touch?' (Ofcourse.... I can feel it!!!! ;-) ) 'Can you move just your this finger?' 'Do you cut your nails?' 'How do you cut your nails? Does it pain?' 'Can you hold anything with it?' This question was the best one as I would get the oppurtunity to touch them back. I would hold her palm and slowly touch (thotum-thodathiyum) with it and it would tickle her as if I was brushing her with a peacock feather and she would stretch her hand all the way and holding her ears to her shoulder, controlling herself and meanwhile spreading the 'prema-gandham', then, I would slowly pinch her arms and my mind,speech and deed would all be in three different directions, all lacking clarity. My god.... you should see her smile and laugh when I do that.....Man! I was indeed lucky.

It seems the Panda bears have six fingers too and they use it for eating, though I could do everything as usual, I have never used my finger for anything else. It is as smooth and soft like a baby's finger. Being soft it was prone to all injuries. Even the edges of a paper would tear and cut my finger and bleed profusely. It was sensitive too, I remember once when the teacher hit me with a cane and it hit my little finger and it pained terribly, it was like how it would have been if a 'pain gets an headache' - unbearable.

My extra finger does not trouble me except I sometimes have problem wearing gloves, or when I go to the bowling alley and I have to use my left hand. With a hope of getting into the Limca book of records, I would practice to write by keeping the pen inbetween my thumbs. Then I would sometimes keep pens inbetween every finger and I could keep five of them and then would paint using all of them at the same time. No luck on that yet!

By the by,recent studies indicate that the sixth finger is a dominant trait and it has a selective advantage and its time that more and more people will have six fingers in their hands. Who knows, tomorrow a five fingered person will be considered weird and taken as an example in their biology class. Looking forward for that day......

For you.... Ninaku vendi ....

Ninuku vendi.........
(For you.............)

Marzhayil kudayayi varam
(In the rain, will come as an umberella)
Vylil thanal aayi varam
(In the hot sun, will come as a shade)
Iruttil nirzal aayi varam
(In darkness, will come as your shadow)
Pularchayil manj aayi varam
(At dawn, will come as dew drops)
Pagalil suryan aayi varam
(In Morning, will come as sun-rays)
Rathriyil nilav aayi varam
(At night, will come as moon-light)
Katil manum aayi varam
(With the winds, will come as scent)
Povil nirum aayi varam
(In the flowers, will come as colour)
Theynil maduram aayi varam
(In honey, will come as swetness)
Nanikyumbol manas aayi varam
(In shyness, will come as heart)
Mansil snehum aayi varam
(In your heart, will come as love)
Urangabol nidra ayi varam
(At bed-time, will come as sleep)
Nidrayil swapnam aayi varam
(In sleep, will come as dream)
Unarumbol unarv aayi varam
(When waking-up, will come as freshness)
Unarvil ormaya aayi varam
(When awake, will come as thoughts)
Thanichu irkyumbol kutu aayi varam
(When alone, will come as companion)


Marikyombol....
(In death....)
marikyumbol... kude varam
(In death....will come with you)

Childth sense

I am proposing that a new word be introduced called 'Childth Sense'. What does it mean? The noun means: a power of waking up at the exact time when you are not supposed to and then ask for all the attention : a keen distruptive attitude.

Let me explain with couple of examples.
Example 1: You are a lady and you have just completed your 100th lullaby and have fallen into deep sleep after feeding your baby upto the nose. As soon as your heart beat settles to the normal rythm, your sweety wakes up and cries at the top of the voice. The ability of the baby to identify this time is called the 'Childth Sense'

One more example.
Example 2: Its your wedding anniversary and you are planning to have a dinner together with your spouse at your home. The food is all ready, you smile and wait for appreciation from your hubby. He tastes it and smiles even wider and you are happy and you take the food to eat. The time at which your hand is about to reach your mouth will be the exact time when your baby wakes up and cries and brings the roof down.
(PS: Example 2 is relevant to only desi's who want to keep thier children with them always and not send to a day-care center).

Ok! One more example to make my bid stonger:
Example 3: You are in the bed with your spouse. You touch your spouse's hand, the fingers turns into a painting brush and run over from your partners forehead ..... ! Let me cut rest of the description and come to the point... you are ready to make love. You are ready...you have made sure that you have taken the precautions.... ready, set and gone.... your child wakes up and cries.....

The ability of a child's senses to identify and wake up at the instances where the child needs to be in deep sleep is called the 'Childth Sense'.

Pi ke Pat : A leaf out of my Calcutta days

I love Calcutta. The people are very nice and friendly. They are very accommodating. They treat you like God when you visit them. Feed you with the best sweets. Prepare some exotic dishes. Wow! The kindness of the Bengalis are unlimited.

I used to visit the road-side tea stall. These tea stalls were so differnet from the ones in Kerala or Madras. Only the boiling milk vessel indicated that it was a tea-stall, no shelter, no benches, no newspapers..... What I liked in the tea-stall is the cup in which they give tea. It was made up of clay. Almost everybody preferred drinking in the mud cup. The taste of the tea in mud-cup was so very different from drinking from a glass cup. You should drink it to understand. My good friend Abijith-da took me to the tea-stall and ordered for dui chai (two tea's) and told me it is called 'pi ke pat'. 'Pi ke pat' means, 'drink and throw(bang)'. You basically drink the tea and throw the cup hard so that it breaks . I laughed when I heard how they coined that word. Later I was addicted to it.

Then I started to have rasagollas in the earthen cup. Then had 'misthi doi' (sweet yoghurt). Man! that was lovely. Every thing that came in this mud cup had an extra taste. Its was like have a south-indian meal in a plantain leaf.
One day, we went to have 'Pani puri', and they loved to call it 'puchka' mmm. Me being new to Calcutta, did not know how to eat it. So the puchka walla gave me a leaf, nicely folded like a funnel head. Then he took the puri stuffed with masala, dipped it in the special water and then placed it in my leaf. I took the puri, drank the water and threw away the puri. And Abijith-da was jumping with laughter.... telling, this is not pi-ke-pat. You eat the puri too along with the water and finally when you are done, you throw away the leaf.

Wish I could go back to Calcutta and eat all those things again, those egg-rolls, those samosas (singada), those jilaybees, those milk sweets... those paan... thoose mudi (rice flakes with ground-nut, onion and chili and lemon), wish I could see the pandals during pujas, the decorated idols, the beautiful women, the friendly men, the jovial attitude, their intellectual thoughts and talks. mmmm!! Indeed a City of Joy. Man!!! Am I missing that life or what?

Happiness to me....

Happiness to me comes from small things.....
... seeing my baby sleep
... seeing him cry after waking up and stretching his hands to pick him up
... seeing my wife sleep hugging my baby
... sleeping with my baby in my arms
... seeing my wife not willing to wake up on a weekend morning
... changing my baby's daipers
... making coffee for my wife on a lazy weekend
... making break-fast and keeping it ready before my wife wakes up
... planting a kiss on my wife's cheek when my baby is not looking
... my wife holding my hands when her parents are around
... my wife calling my name instead of her mother's name when in pain
... carrying the bag of grocery while my wife walks besides me holding our baby
... reaching the door of my house and waiting to see the smile in my baby's face

............. many more such small things are the ones that keep my heart ticking......

Hummer Off Road Test Drive.

Last weekend I took the Hummer Off-Road test drive. It was Priya's dream to own a Hummer. She would always say 'Can we buy a Hummer instead of a house?'. Anyways, had seen advertisement and clippings of the Hummer and was interested, but was not sure. The thought that would come to my mind was: 'When we are never going to buy this why should I test drive?' After I saw the invitation, I called the dealer to schedule an appointment for the test drive. I was still not sure if I would go for the event. In the invitation they had mentioned that there would be no sales pitch or pressure, which was one more reason for me going for the event. The most important reason for going was Priya. I wanted to take the drive and tell her how it was. I then scheduled the test drive for 2pm Saturday.
I showed up late and the Customer service was more than happy to fit me into the next slot which was at 4pm. I had over 1 hour to browse through the show room. I first started looking at the H1. Those are the ones that the Military folks use, I guess. They were huge and ugly. There was not enough room at the driver's seat. The door was too close to the seats. I had to move to my side before I closed the door. The controls inside were nicely arranged, all of them facing the driver. The seats were not so comfortable. It was the same with the passenger side seat too, not so comfortable and too close to the door. Looked like they had too much stuff fit between the two seats. Next was H2. That too was huge but looked better than H1. The seats were comfortable and bucket shaped. The door was not as close. I did not have to bang the door to close it too. Nice leg space etc. Then, I looked at the H3. H3 falls into the category of SUV's. This is smaller than the other two, still big, but was too good. Everything inside was nice and hard. H3 was different from other SUV's like the 4runner and other cars. Those were more of luxury and this looked like a performance car. It had the ‘Rough and Tough’ look.

There were around 20 Hummers (H2 and H3's) lined up for the test drive. We were grouped so that one vehicle would have two couples. The vehicle I got was numbered as V-15 and was accompanied by another heavy-weight couple. The man (Bob) would have weighed 400 pounds easily and I suspected that the vehicle would get grounded. Anyways, I was too excited and quickly found the vehicle and took on to the driver's seat, Buckled-up, started and waited. When Bob got into the vehicle, it did not even move. Wow! I was impressed; I was expecting it would flip-over. It was time for the test drive and each vehicle had a two-way radio and the instructors were instructing.... 'Go slow and steady'. They were worried because in a whole around $600K were at stake, any damage would be expensive for all. I was getting excited and wanted the vehicles ahead of me to move quickly so that I could start. All were taking their sweet time. The vehicles ahead of me started to move slowly and my turn came. The Instructor, Sean, pointed me to take a left and wait. I slowly moved front, took a left turn and .......... could not see a damn thing after that. It was a steep fall from there and I could not see where I was going to. I wanted to ask Sean if I could get down and see where I was heading too. Man! it was like a free fall for me... not knowing where you are going. He waved his hand prompting me to come forward.... and I took little baby steps... one at a time, at the brake and acceleration. As we were slowly and smoothly going down, I could see the grass and gravel in the ground. Next was uphill. The uphill was equally steep... I pushed the gas pedal and we were now looking at the sky. (We had our sun-roof open). I could hear things fall from the lady's hand bag, who was sitting tight lipped at the back. As I reached the top ... it was the same thing... do not know where I was heading to as I could not see anything beyond me other than the clear blue sky. After those two difficult slopes, it was the rocks. I would have never driven over the rocks if it were my own vehicle. The rocks looked dangerous. Then, there was this sharp and tilted curve. As I took the turn, I felt like I was driving a bike in the 'death well', remember 'Gemini Circus' where the guy goes round and round inside the well, it was more or less like that, except that I had to do it just once and I was not in a bike. Here, too, I was worried that the Vehicle would flip-over. I was more worried thinking what would have happened if Bob fell over me- Yes the seat belt worked and he remained there and the car did not flip-over. The next track was mud-track. There was a swamp and we had to go downhill and then uphill. I was sure, it would slide all the way down and then we would then not able to go up after that. Sean instructed us to change the gear setting to 4Up. We were driving 4down till then. Man! the car just took us all the way down and then up as if there was not mud or swamp there. It was now time to switch drivers and I did not want to give it away. Bob drove the second half of the track and I got to sit at the passenger seat. It was as exciting to just sit and watch. Bob was more experienced than me. He was like a pro. He would intentionally go over logs; he would drive in-between the swamp and laugh when the car slid. The whole trip was like a trip to Six-flags.

Yes! Now, I too want to buy this Hummer. It is expensive but affordable. They say it 'drinks' fuel, but, it is as bad as Toyota 4runner or Nissan Xtra. I guess, I should start saving some money for my next HumV - H3. (And Priya is going to say ‘Yes’ to me atleast this time, for a change!!!)

Random Thoughts : Oct07-2005

Random Thoughts : Oct07-2005
Thought #1 Looking at the speed-o-meter of my car.... I was thinking 'Damn! so much space wasted.' What they should have done is just kept an electronic speed-o-meter, or atleast something similar to a weighing scale... where the needle (pointer) remains at the same place and the reading behind it moves according to the weight/speed. The car's speedometer also should be similar. Instead of a circular speed-o-meter, have a small strip which can display the current speed. This will save lots of space in the display area, which can be used for various other purpose.
Thought #2 All cars should have a 'speed reminder' which can be set like your cruise control. New cars have something called 'dynamic cruise control', which basically calculates the speed of the car ahead of you and adjusts the speed accordingly. 'Speed Reminder' should be programable and set to a desired speed and when you cross that speed it should start beeping. I have had many time driven without realizing the speed at which I was travelling. Last time I got a hefty ticket was I was driving at 90MPH where the speed limit was 70MPH. Actually, I did not realize that I was going that fast. There was lot of stop and go traffic before that and I could not use my cruise control and then when the road cleared... I just sped. The speed reminder will also be helpful when you are driving at local roads where the speed is 40PMH and can't use your cruise control. All you have to do is set your 'Speed Reminder' to something like 45MPH and it would beep when you over-speed. The chime could be like the one you get when you do not put the seat-belts or when you leave your headlights on.

Thought #3 The cricket match should add a new option where a player gets a 'second-chance'. The captain should be able to allow one player to come-back and continue from where he was when he got out. For e.g. if the batsman (Sachin) got out at 99, the team desperatly needs one player to bat well, he could sacrifice Harbajan Singh's batting and make Sachin bat from 99. That way, Sachin could complete his century and the team could get some good scores too. The batsman would be allowed to play only 5 overs at the max. And if he gets out, he can not come back. Similarly, a bowler can also come back after his spell of 10 overs and bowl an extra 2 or 3 overs. This should be in addition to the 'Super-sub'. The rule can be named - 'Second-chance' or 'Trump card'.

Forget her? Move on?

She died and was not alone during the last moments. She had her daughters and son around her during her last moments. May her soul rest in peace. She could not survive the battle against death and had to give up. The drips and all the medicines could not fight the powerful forces. Now, for us it is time to move on and forget her. She is no more. Forget her. She has been laid to rest. Forget her and move on. Inspite of me repeating the words 'Forget her, Move on!' to myself, I have not been able to either forget her or move on. ...

She was the one who gave birth to an angel- my loving mother. She was the one who held my mother in her laps and fed her with her blood. How can I forget that. As I held my son on to my shoulder and sang a lullaby, I recollected, she too would have done the same thing to my mother, to me, to my brothers. But, is there any point recollecting all this when I was not there with her during the last days nor was I there during the final moments when she was laid to rest. A 'phone call' is what I did. 'Amma, sorry to hear her go.' - I said. 'Did everybody come?', I asked. She said, 'Yes! and everybody has left too. They just waited for the funeral and left.' God! I said to myself. Why does nobody have time? I did not dare tell this to my mom. What if she asked me - 'Why did you not come?' What if she asked me - 'Why did you not come when your dad had an heart attack? Why did you not come when I had a fracture in my leg and I could not even walk with out help? You should have sent your wife to look after me!' I did not have any answers if she had asked me.

Ofcourse, I had answers. But those answers would have been from the mouth of a selfish son who does not want to sacrifice the comfort of having his wife and child around. It would have been from an unfaithful son. Amma, if I take vacation, I may be left with no job here and end up loosing a lot. Should I tell that to get her sympathy? Should I tell that so that she does not feel bad on why her son is so heartless? Will she feel dejected on the way they brought us up? or just 'Forget her, Move on ??'

A real Ghost story

Yesterday, it rained heavily and thunder was so bright that it made the moon fade for a moment. I ran into my lonley and empty house, greeted with darkness.... I rushed upstairs and dried myself.

Now that she is not here with me, this is how my usual preparation for my bedtime is: I take my cholestrol medicines before bedtime. It has a side effect that it causes flusing to my face. To avoid that I need to have yoghurt and asprin 30 minutes before I take the medicine. I make it a point to keep a table fan near me before sleeping with a auto-time of 60 minutes. After that, I put an ointment to my eye to reduce my 'corneal degeneration'. The ointment is so viscous that once I apply it, it becomes very difficult to see and I am not only colour blind (though for some reason I can not see colour at night) but also partially blind. The art of applying oinment to your eye yourself is a talent in itself and the art of reaching your bed after applying the ointment is another talent. Will talk about it sometime later.

Anyways, I did all the above rituals yesterday too but for some reason, I felt that something was not complete. Something inside me was telling that I had forgotten something. Went to my bed with a heavy foot with my eyes closed and managed to lie in the proper position where my face would get the maximum breeze from the fan. As I was about to fall asleep..... I felt somebody was there in the room. I tried to hear for any noises (remember, I can not open my eyes because of the ointment). My eyebrows took the shape of a mountain as my ear muscles and drums grew large and sensitive. I felt a shot of hot breeze hit my toes, as if somebody was breating heavily over my toes, but the breeze was so intense that I felt it was not somebody's breath but the frequency of it hitting my toes were regular. It would hit my toes and then stop for like 6 seconds and then again hit it for another 6 seconds and it continued for like 5 times. I was getting nervous. Then it stopped momentarily. Then, I felt someone touching my toes. The touch soon turned to a hold. I could now feel somebody was holding my right leg toe. I wanted to open my eyes to see, but I could not. I waited to find out what it would do next. It held my toe more harder and I could not move my leg even a bit. I now, lifted my left leg and pushed against my right toe to remove the hold but my left leg could not feel anybody holding. Suddenly it twisted my toes and I had to let go my left foot and bring it back so that I could have a grip and not roll down. It then bent my toes forward and pressed it harder and I could feel my blood flow from near my nails. There was no pain though. I do not recollect what happened after that.... when I woke up in the morning there was few drops of blood in the floor and my toe was black and bruised as if it was crushed.

Do not know what happened.

Waiting for her call

Today is Monday and I am expecting her call.
Before I go further, I would like to share a riddle/joke with you all.
'What is the opposite of STD?' (Pandi's and Mallu's will appreciate the joke). I have posted the answer at the end.
Second question, Which is right? Blind forgiveness to judicious anger?
While you think, you can read my blog .......We were born and bought up in a religious family but never ever practiced strict worshipping. I have been of late, bit more religious owing to ‘1008’ (aayirathi yetu prachanai) problems that I have been facing. I do not forget to tell my prayers before sleeping and after I wake up. But my wife is different, married only for few years now has not faced any real problems. Her marriage with me was also an easy and quick one and as such does not pray. On asking, she usually says, ‘Should I really thank God for getting you as my husband?’ ...After her pregnancy and child birth and other hormonal changes, she has been affected by memory loses. Initially, I mistook it for her laziness. But now, the problem seems to be getting serious. She forgets something or the other everyday. Whenever we go to the malls, she would either forget her Keys or Credit card or Purse or baby’s Diaper bag, or Milk bottle or something. Next day, she would call me at work and plead, 'I cannot find our house keys. Can you go to JC Penny and get it?' I will have to tell my boss some lie and get out of work earlier. Every Monday, there will be something or the other. If it were JCPenny this week, next would be Sears or Bath and Body works. If it were Keys this week, then it would be something else next week. Embarrassing indeed it is, what is more painful is that every time she looses something and until we get it back, she would have promised herself to donate $X to the temple, where X is the same variable that we studied in college & school. X would vary depending on the value of the Article lost. First thing she lost was her watch (I still do not believe her version of loosing and I think she intentionally threw it away), then, she had promised that she would make me ‘fast’ for a day. Then, she lost our marriage ring (I still do not believe her version of loosing this too and I think she intentionally threw it away), she promised that she would make me 'fast' for every Saturday for a year. Saturday being a weekend was usually the party time with my hi-spirited friends where drinks and non-veg was unlimited in addition to all the cigarettes. Now that I have stopped drinking, smoking and non-veg, she no longer promises that. Now it is the $$. What surprises me is that she never forgets those incidents where I had spoken rudely to my mother-in-law or looked secretly at the girl next door. ...Harsh words and arguments being the root of every conflict in the world, I have chosen blind forgiveness to judicious anger to all her acts, meanwhile, praying that her hormonal level comes back to normal and also that she be not so religious.
Today, being Monday.... I am still waiting for her call....

The answer to my riddle -- Opposite of 'S T D ' is 'No Coffee Da' ...

Gowri Kalyanam

Gowri was the only daughter of her blind and old parents. They had a late marriage which could be because of their physical disability and they had this beautiful daughter when they were in their 40's. Gowri was of my age, we both grew up together but under completely different family atmosphere and circumstances. In spite of us being neighbors we hardly spoke or looked directly at each other. Our village - Karnapuram was very orthodox. The village had a mixture of Malayalees and Tamil Brahmins who were called Palakkad Iyers. She was a Palakkad iyer. There was nothing common between us. Nothing at all. We used to fetch water from the same well, bathe in the same pond, go to the same temple, go to the same market,but,the language she spoke was different, the people with whom she mixed were different, the looks she had was different, the food she ate was different. Everything was different.

Gowri was a very beautiful girl since childhood. Her parents being blind, not much care was taken of her. We used to see elderly women going in and out of their house and I guessed they were helping her parents. Her father was a very good classical singer. A taxi would come once a week to pick him up for the 'kacheri'. Gowri would stand beside the wooden pillar. She never wore a dress. The only dress I had seen her put was her under wear. Her mother being blind, I guess, never realized that she was growing up. She did not go to school. I used to see her playing naked in the streets making mud castles when I returned from school. She too, like her father, used to sing nicely. She was like a nightingale. Her songs would fill the whole street. Her favorite was the 'Kaanthanodu chenu melle killi morzhi suchamihavada...' from Swathithirunal. My eyes would be filled with tears whenever I heard her sing that song. She used to sing it quite often and this song became my favorite too. I used to think if she indeed had a 'beloved' whom she wanted to convey her feelings. She never met anybody, whom did she wait for? Who was that? I would forget that thought when she sang the next song and I would get immersed in her next song. The songs she sang always had great lyrics and words, words like - 'Iswarande nidhi' (God's treasure), 'Thingalam uyarnu vannu, chenkanal choriyunnu...'(Moon's soft light is like burning redhot flame). She was good in 'handi-crafts' too. She made flowers out of papers that would fool even a bee. She painted well, so well that it would put the rainbow to shame. Such was she!

One magic day, I saw her all dressed up. She looked like an angel. She was covered with 'pattu paavada'(silk skirt). The exposing body parts like her hand were covered with 'Manjal'(Turmeric). Her palm was decorated with 'myilanji'(Mehndi). Her forehead had 'sindoorum and chandanam' like a rising sun (sindoor and sandlewood paste). Her eyes sparkled like a diamond. The bangles in her hand were like waterfall. Smile like a light wave. It was her 'Thirandu Kalyanam' - the day of her puberty.

She no longer could be seen naked. She no longer could be seen playing. She no longer could be seen hanging on to her father's shoulder. Only sign of her ambrosial presence was the celestial ko-lam(colorful patterns with rice powder). How I wished I could attend Gowri's kalyanam (marriage) too. Wonder how beautiful she would be looking!!!