Cheese abhisegham .... swamikyu

Sabarimala season is about to start and our temple here is having Ayyappa puja every other Saturday. Our Hindu Temple like all other Hindu temple in US is unique. (What? 'Unique' and 'same like others'?) What I meant when I said 'like other Hindu temples' was that the main god worshipped is 'Lord Balaji'. What I meant when I said 'unique' was nothing - I was wrong - there is nothing unique in this temple. It does exactly what all other temples here do. Same pujas, same festivals, same everything. (I know if it is a Hindu temple, everything has to be same).

Anyway, I liked going to the temples in Kerala, always felt divine and holy after coming out... though I used to look at girls while praying, that did not take the feeling of godliness. In fact, the girls too looked divine. Most of the girls wore a red pavadai (long skirt) and green top with golden shiny border. They would have a little sandal wood paste in the forehead and below it or over it red bindi - kunkumam. Eyes beautiful with the kajal (kan mashi), small golden ear rings, thick golden necklace on their chest, silver colored padaswaram (anklets)... black oily hair separated from the center... little mulla-poo (jasmine flower) ....their back (above the hips) wet with the water from the hair...a smile in the face... anyways... I miss that in the temples here.

In spite of missing all that here, I still go to the temple, at least every Saturday.... at 11:30 sharp..... Why? No! I don’t have 'shani dasha' (or Saturn problem). Its just that I like the food, the prasadam, that is served on those days. Though my wife is an excellent cook, there is nothing like food cooked by somebody else.... lot of ghee and cashews and grapes and etc... All the things that my wife thinks have cholesterol. I usually have the prasadam first before going to the temple... who knows if there would be any left when I return.... (Need to beat the college students/bachelors around...). Darshan of the big idol of Lord Venkateswara brings immense peace in me... it also helps me digest the food that I just had. I keep praying until... the pujari brings the 'dry-fruits tray'. Our temple is small and pujas are conducted every 30 minutes or so. If I time it wrong, I may have to sometimes wait for 30 minutes until the tray comes back. On such occasions, I go visit the smaller gods - Ganesha, Rama, Krishna and Shiva. If I see the pujari start the puja, I skip either Krishna or Shiva and go back to the main deity. I pray with all my heart and devotion for the puja to finish fast so that the pujari brings the tray. It takes more time if somebody has to do an aarthi. If it is a telgu family, it takes even more time.... long names and multi-gothras. My last stop is at the nava-grahas. Going around it makes me a bit giddy....and then I rest for sometime. That is when I think and compare of my kerala days to the US days. Though I miss the girls whom I used to see... this is better.... I have never got such fruits for prasadam in Kerala... wow... Cashews, almonds, raisins, walnuts, pista, sometimes real fruits like apples, bananas and grapes... mmmm... nobody can beat that. (Wish they had pizza and pasta too)

I asked the temple manager why they serve such things as prasadam? He gave me the common answer - 'That's what we get here....' I wonder..... Since they do not get 'ghee' here... will they use cheese instead for the nei (ghee) abhishegam for Ayyappa???

Swamiye saranam ayappa !!!!
Cheese(nei) abhisegham swamikyu,
kalpura deepam swamikyu....

do they get camphor here??? Is it not banned???

Love at first absence

They say that it takes about 30 seconds to fall in love at first sight. It took less than that to miss her when she stepped away. We were together (married) for over 2 years and not a single day did we stay away from each other since then. We would wake up seeing each other, eat together, go-out together, sleep together and there was no activity or moment we were away (of course, we were away when I went to work). We were no longer couples, we were one, sharing our life and thoughts and I had not realized that her absence would be so hurting.

When she was with me, we would scream and shout almost everyday. Sometimes our conversations turned into quarrels, discussion turned into arguments but at the end of the day we were happy and smiling. Our life was nothing but a smooth sailing boat with occasional currents, well, who does not have it? Then, her brother’s marriage got fixed and she was asked to come home early to help in preparation. Both of us were excited... another marriage at home.... time for another celebration... wow ...and we eagerly started preparing for her travel. Shopping and looking for deals on everything from Airline tickets to Candies.

When it was time for her to leave, we started picking up fights more often; I guess it was our insecurity. She would want me to come home early from work and I would want her to sit with me whole night and do nothing. There were times I felt that she leave earlier than later.....

But when she crossed the security gate.... man ... I was devastated. It was like falling in love knowing sure that there would be no reciprocating feeling; it seemed like a tragedy and the end of the world. The next moment was equally cruel. They say, time heals.... but time was not healing at all, but was making it worse, it was making me miserable. Everything I saw reminded me of her. A couple around corner reminded me of our time we spent together, every word spoken reminded me of her tone, every gesture reminded me of her action, every look reminded me of her eyes. Everything reminded me of her and haunted the loneliness in me like a ghost. Telling myself not to think about her led to more thoughts about her. I could not stop thinking of anything with out associating it with her. She stayed in my mind when I was working, spending time with friends, jogging in the morning or browsing in evening. I was looking around and was trying to find out if any of the things would be useful or interesting for her. Back home, I was afraid to leave the phone for a moment because I was sure that the moment I step away, she would call. Things that never worried me started to worry me. I would rather stay by myself than going out anywhere without her. I felt the world did not exist without her and nobody expected me to go anywhere alone. When we walked together we did not even let go each others hands even for a second and here I was now not even a shadow of hers with me. The Pankaj Udhas song - "naye kapade pehen kar jahun kahan aur baal banavu kis ke liye, woh shaks to shaher hi chod chala, mein bahar jaaun kiskeliye?" kept running in my mind.

My friends almost got bored of me as I had nothing to talk to them about other than her. They started thinking I am bit crazy and started to avoid me. My friend’s wives looked at me with a mix of envy and compassion. If I knew separation could be so miserable, I would never have let her go. If I knew her absence would make me fall in love with her, I would wish I never fall in love again.

Ok folks, I am going to show the above note to my wife, will it make her happy and prompt her take another trip to India. Its 12 months now since she went to India. I want her to feel happy when she goes home; I want her to feel that I will miss her terribly when she is away. Do you think the above one is good enough? I have a blog ready with what I did last time when she was away- the title is 'Loved her first absence'. Will post that soon, but tell me is the above note fine. I have to make plans and invite my friends and have party when she is gone.....!!!! Hurry up!!!

American breakfast - Desi style

Saturday morning as I was getting ready to go out wearing my slippers, my wife suggested that I should wear the shoes instead of the chappal. She said, 'Have you ever seen a 'gora' go out in sandals?' I said - 'I am not a American.... I am a desi... why should I wear shoes?' For that she said, 'When you are in Amreica, do what the amreicans do.'

My argument:
If somebody served you Jilebi, Mysore-pavu, Laddu and Burfi along with Payasam(Kheer), would you have it for breakfast?
Why not? The Americans eat Doughnuts, Danishes and Bagels with double egg ommellete and Orange juice, then why don't you? When they can have their Cereals with sugar and milk and other sweet fruits added to the breakfast, why can't you eat? Why don't you have the American breakfast - Desi style?

She: No answer!

Verdict - I won.

Result: I still had to wear the shoes.....

Wishing her all the bad things….

No. Its not regarding my ex-crush or girl friend. How can I wish bad things for them? I am after a normal human being who can not hate anybody. Anyway, my bad wishes are for that lady police officer who gave me a hefty ticket for a driving violation. Here it goes…..

May a deadly and poisonous snake bite her on her left leg while she is sleeping and having a terrible nightmare about a dog biting her nose off. May she fall from the bed due to the snake bite and break her left arm and may she trip and fall on her face when trying to get up and run away from the snake. May she fracture her right leg on that fall. May she then fall on the open and un-flushed toilet with her head first and may her arm accidentally hit the flush lever and may her hair get stuck in the toilet bowl. May all her hair come off when she finally gets her head out. May lightning then strike her on her head and then may her house also catch fire. May a tree fall on her car when she tries to go the hospital. May her husband get a heart-attack listening to the news and get all of his right side paralyzed. May she gets AIDS in the blood transfusion and then cough and vomit blood. May her intestine come out of her nose due to the cough. May the syringe poke her left eye and may the doctor operate her right eye by mistake. May she bite her own tongue off when trying to eat some food. May her eyebrows melt and stick to her lips like a moustache. May she look like a devil who has just seen a cross.

May she live long and ………..

Boy or a girl

Our conversation ended when my wife said … ‘you should have sisters to know and understand. Hope you son also has a sister and he won’t be like you.’

I have always lost arguments when somebody brings that up. It makes me feel that I have sinned, at the same time I do not understand what is the big thing about having a sister? Are people with no sisters heartless and people with sisters ‘gentlemen’? I had grown up in a family where most of us were boys/men and as such did not understand what it is to have a sister. The little I knew about girls was when my cousin sisters came over during summer vacations. Did not miss having sisters when with them but when they left… I always wanted them to stay back. There were times I hated them when it took hours for them to get ready but there was also moments where I would sit besides them watching the way they would knot/oil their hair or put the nail polish.

Anyways, I had few friends who had sisters… and these guys did not have two horns on their head. But I had noticed that they would not invite any guys to their homes especially if those guys did not have any sisters. Their friendship would end at the corner of the street. Regarding guys who had sisters, I have noticed the following things (exceptions exist):

1) All liked their sisters only after they got married and went away. Until then, they cursed them and hated them.

2) These guys would return home even before sunset.

3) Would not bunk classes and go for movies

4) Would not watch ‘rated’ movies

5) Were mean as not to invite good people (like me) to their homes. (The closest I have gotten to is to the door. Never gone inside)

6) Would not wait in bus-stops or tea-shops after school/college to sit and chatter.

7) Would not give away phone numbers

The list is long…..

Regarding guys who did not have sister:

1) Would never go home until the moon was above their head

2) Would not feel guilty bunking classes for movies

3) Had ‘time-pass’ girl friends

4) Would watch all sort of movies and talk about them too

5) Sit at bus-stops and theater, watching and commenting girls

6) Invite all friends home.

7) Would freely give phone numbers and not mind blank phone calls or such nuisance.

Coming back to the actual topic in mind, my wife is in the 4^th month of pregnancy and it already seems like a very long month. Our first one was a boy and we are yet to know the sex of the new baby and that could be another reason for the 4^th month being so long. I want the second one to be a boy too after all he will have a company and can play similar games, discuss and talk similar topics …but she wants a girl. We have our own reasons; in fact, I have more reasons on why I want a boy, she too has many reasons… and her last reason is – ‘you won’t understand since you don’t have sisters’. Few of her other reasons were, girls are more attached to their parents and will take care of them when old, and girls like their father more, so I should be happy to have a girl etc. I asked if Lord Rama had sisters and see how much he loved his father and mother that he did not think twice to obey their wishes. Even the Pandavas did not have sisters. They too obeyed their mother. That’s how boys are!!!! On the other hand, Ravana had a sister, look what he did. If there is a girl in the house, there will never be peace. For this, she asked me not to tell stories. Then, I took examples from Mahatma Gandhi to Sachin Tendulkar.

Anyways, we won’t know the sex of the baby for sometime to come… until then we will keep arguing amongst us which is better. I would like to have a girl baby as long as she is kind like my mother and beautiful like my wife, else I need a boy.