They say that it takes about 30 seconds to fall in love at first sight. It took less than that to miss her when she stepped away. We were together (married) for over 2 years and not a single day did we stay away from each other since then. We would wake up seeing each other, eat together, go-out together, sleep together and there was no activity or moment we were away (of course, we were away when I went to work). We were no longer couples, we were one, sharing our life and thoughts and I had not realized that her absence would be so hurting.
When she was with me, we would scream and shout almost everyday. Sometimes our conversations turned into quarrels, discussion turned into arguments but at the end of the day we were happy and smiling. Our life was nothing but a smooth sailing boat with occasional currents, well, who does not have it? Then, her brother’s marriage got fixed and she was asked to come home early to help in preparation. Both of us were excited... another marriage at home.... time for another celebration... wow ...and we eagerly started preparing for her travel. Shopping and looking for deals on everything from Airline tickets to Candies.
When it was time for her to leave, we started picking up fights more often; I guess it was our insecurity. She would want me to come home early from work and I would want her to sit with me whole night and do nothing. There were times I felt that she leave earlier than later.....
But when she crossed the security gate.... man ... I was devastated. It was like falling in love knowing sure that there would be no reciprocating feeling; it seemed like a tragedy and the end of the world. The next moment was equally cruel. They say, time heals.... but time was not healing at all, but was making it worse, it was making me miserable. Everything I saw reminded me of her. A couple around corner reminded me of our time we spent together, every word spoken reminded me of her tone, every gesture reminded me of her action, every look reminded me of her eyes. Everything reminded me of her and haunted the loneliness in me like a ghost. Telling myself not to think about her led to more thoughts about her. I could not stop thinking of anything with out associating it with her. She stayed in my mind when I was working, spending time with friends, jogging in the morning or browsing in evening. I was looking around and was trying to find out if any of the things would be useful or interesting for her. Back home, I was afraid to leave the phone for a moment because I was sure that the moment I step away, she would call. Things that never worried me started to worry me. I would rather stay by myself than going out anywhere without her. I felt the world did not exist without her and nobody expected me to go anywhere alone. When we walked together we did not even let go each others hands even for a second and here I was now not even a shadow of hers with me. The Pankaj Udhas song - "naye kapade pehen kar jahun kahan aur baal banavu kis ke liye, woh shaks to shaher hi chod chala, mein bahar jaaun kiskeliye?" kept running in my mind.
My friends almost got bored of me as I had nothing to talk to them about other than her. They started thinking I am bit crazy and started to avoid me. My friend’s wives looked at me with a mix of envy and compassion. If I knew separation could be so miserable, I would never have let her go. If I knew her absence would make me fall in love with her, I would wish I never fall in love again.
Ok folks, I am going to show the above note to my wife, will it make her happy and prompt her take another trip to India. Its 12 months now since she went to
1 comment:
You bad boy! I hope your wife sees through your tricks :)
Post a Comment